JoVaughn Virginie Scott
I wasnt sure how I felt about Reggie.
I knew I had strong feelings for her. I knew we connected. I knew she was there for me. I knew how she made me feel.
I just didnt know if I loved her. I never been in love. No one had ever told me they loved me besides family members.
When she said it, I panicked. I knew I couldnt say it back to her right them. I was still too unsure of my feelings.
I didnt mean to leave her like that. I just wasnt thinking straight at all. I tried to calm myself down in the bathroom but I ended up scrambling my brain even worse.
I was trying to figure out how to tell her the feeling wasnt mutual yet. Trying to figure out whether or not I should just lie and say it. Trying to figure out why I didnt feel as if I should say it. Trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me.
Why dont I love Reggie? Or maybe I do and i'm just too afraid to admit it to myself. I had got rid of the idea of me being in love with someone long ago. I never thought i'd find someone like Reggie.
But I did ....
And now I probably lost her. I felt no different than the other niggas that did her wrong. I left her during sex. Her first time having sex and I dipped on her when she confessed her feelings for me. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't think I even deserve her.
"JoVaughn!" I heard Tony call me snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Yes sir" I looked up at him.
"What the hell are you doing? You been staring at the painting for like thirty minutes" he laughed. I aint think it was funny.
"Nah i'm just ....I think i'm done for today" I told him. He nodded.
"So we should be good by friday? This is the last one right?" he asked pointing to the piece I was finishing up.
"Yeah. I'ma pass out some more flyers too"I let him know.
"Thank you. You know you are a hardworking young man. I'm glad Brown suggested you" he grinned and dapped me up.
"Thank you sir. That means alot" I chuckled.
"Enjoy the rest of your day youngin'" he waved goodbye and I left.
I had been staying at a hotel the past week or so. I been trying to avoid all traces of Regine, Denzel, and Nicole. I was being a bitch and didnt want to face Regine. And Denzel and Nic would fucking kill me if they knew what I did. I wonder if Reggie told them ...
I pulled up to where I was staying and made my way to my room. I flopped down on the bed and let out a deep sigh. I hadn't slept in days so I was exhausted. Ion know how I didn't collapse by now.
My phone started to ring. I picked it up without looking. "Yeah?"
"Yo is it cool if I pass your flyers out at the studio later?" Denzel said.
"Yeah bro. That would be great actually" I responded. So I guess Reggie didn't tell them.
"Bro where the fuck is Reggie?" he chuckled.
"Ion know" I muttered.
"Fuck you mean? Yall live together."
"We ...had a few issues so I been away for a little bit" I tried to keep it as vague as possible.
"Oooohhhh aight. Yall gone work it out though right?"
"Yeah." I hoped. I doubt she even wanted to see me anytime soon.
"Good. Aight ima go. I gotta get ready to teach this class. Maybe she'll show up."
"Yeah" I mumbled and he hung up.
Regine Iman Thomas
I felt like the most stupid girl on the planet.
I didnt even want to talk to anyone about what happened. I was ashamed. I felt like it was my fault.
I couldn't help it though. I love Joey but I guess it's something I should have kept to myself.
I didn't even know what to do with myself so I had been at home the past week sulking and doing work for clients. Denzel had texted me earlier about coming to take his class so I was now getting ready.
Maybe dancing would take my mind off of things. I finished getting dressed and made my way to the bus stop. The sun was burning my skin so I went to sit under a tree.
I unlocked my phone and went to twitter in hopes of finding a good laugh. I had managed to find a few funny tweets on my timeline that made me giggle.
I then seen a familiar twitter name and stopped to read the tweet.
JoZifBadmon: My peace is gone.
I continued scrolling and saw another one from him.
JoZifBadmon: I lost a piece of my mind and lost peace of mind.
I sat convincing myself that they weren't about me. Assumptions were one of my downfalls. Like I had assumed he loved me.
RegineIman: I'm just a burden ...
Thats how I felt. I felt like a huge burden to everyone.
No one seemed to care for me as much as I did them. My mother had still been forwarding my calls. That seemed to make everything worse for me.
I spent my whole life wishing she'd tell me she loves me and actually mean it. I spent years wishing that she would treat me like she treats her husbands kids. And I spent years wishing I had never been born so she would have been spared the abuse she endured on account of me.
I really was a burden.
The bus came and I got on. It took twenty minutes to get to the studio.
When I got inside, I quickly put my things in a locker and went to the dance room. As I was walking in, Denzel was sitting by the door handing out flyers.
"Why we ain't heard from you in a week?" Denzel asked me. I shrugged.
"I've been working."
"Mhmmm" he said side eyeing me. He handed me a flyer. I looked down at it on my way in and saw it was one of the flyers I had made for Joey's art exhibition event.
As upset as I was with him right now, I was still going to go anyway.
"Your boyfriend about to catch hell. I swear to god" a voice said. I turned around to see Shameik.
"What?" Why was he even talking to me.
"You heard me" he said glaring at me and walked away.
I stood confused.
What the fuck?
