Steamy Love

Part 39: Not Her Fault

*Present time, at Sal's house*

Brian's POV

"What? But we haven't done it in a while."

"I know, but... Just please. Not tonight." I wish he understood, I wish I could tell him. But I can't even come to terms with it; how the fuck would he be able to?

"Brian, please." He gets off of me and sits on the floor next to my head. I hate how much he's trying to help. It's honestly just making it harder. "Please talk to me. I promise I won't get mad or upset, just tell me what's bothering you. Please... I don't want you to hurt your- get hurt again." Yeah, I noticed that correction. Yeah, all I've really wanted to do is just end the pain. But this isn't just about me, Faith's involved too. And I seriously need to get to the bottom of this for her sake.

"I'm not gonna hurt myself, Sal." Although I can't promise that I won't get hurt.

"Do you want to?"

"No."

"Bri, I thought I said no lying!" he says as he gets up and angrily paces around the room. "I'm trying to help you, I really am! I don't want to wake up one morning only to get a call from Joe or Murr telling me that you committed suicide. I'm scared, Brian. I'm scared that I might lose you. I'm terrified that whatever happened that night, whatever you saw at the doctor's office, I'm scared that it's something so horrible... And the fact that you won't tell me what it is only heightens that fear!"

"Yeah? Well it fucking scares me too!" Okay now I'm really pissed off. He has no fucking idea. "I'm not even sure if it actually happened, or if I just have an overactive imagination!"

"What the fuck do you mean?!"

I'm still sitting, but he's standing and facing me. He clearly doesn't know what to do with his hands, as they keep finding things to fiddle with; his hair, fingernails, and jacket sleeves are a few things on the list. I've never seen him this nervous or fearful, and it breaks my heart. But I'm just not ready to tell him. "I mean I confronted Faith, but she claimed that nothing happened. But, obviously, something happened. Whether it be what I saw or not, something is scaring the shit out of her too. I... I need to find out what it is."

"You know what, fuck her! She's probably the center of all of this!"

"Yeah, she probably is!" Now I'm standing and getting in his face. He doesn't like that and tries to back away, but I remain persistent. "And it's probably not her fault! It's not her fault that I just happened to walk in on it! It's not her fault that she's probably got an abusive boyfriend, or at least a guy that will beat the shit out of her for no reason! It's hard to get out of something like that without help, and by god I'm going to try!"

Sal's POV

After our yelling match he grabbed his shoes without even putting them on and stormed out of my house; slamming the door and making me flinch as he did so. Why does he care so much about that bitch? Like I said, she's probably the whole reason he's in this state right now. She's probably the one that hurt him, whether it be emotionally or... physically... Holy shit! As soon as that thought crosses my mind I grab my phone from the kitchen counter and call Joe, who picks up sounding extremely tired. I hadn't realized how late it is.

"What the fuck do you want, Sal? You almost woke Bessy and Milana."

"I'm sorry, but I think I figured out what's wrong with Q."

"Can't you talk to him, then?"

"No Joe, I can't! He just stormed out of my house after we got in this huge fight. I need you to talk to him."

"And what good do you think that'll do?"

"You can often calm him down better than I can, depending on the situation. I think this is one of those situations."

"Well what do you think happened?"

*Later that night*

The three of us (Murr, Joe, and I) head over to his house together. His lights are still on, so he must be awake. But when we knock on the door, he doesn't answer. And his door is locked, so we can't just barge our way in again.

"Q," Murr calls through the thick wood. "Answer the damn door. It's important." After roughly five minutes of persistent banging on the door and yelling, he finally swings it open so hard that the hinges groan and threaten to come off.

"What?!" he almost roars at us.

"Q, calm down and let us in," Joe demands. Q steps aside and slams the door behind us. Murr and I jump a little, but Joe doesn't break. He sure is one hell of a man to stand up to Q when he's this angry. I admire him greatly. "We know something happened that night, Sal told us everything he knows, and everything he thinks. We've come up with a few theories, but we need the truth in order to help you. To help Faith, as well." Wait, that wasn't part of the deal.

"Yeah? Well you can take your theories and shove 'em up your ass for all I care!"

"You don't mean that."

"Try me!"

"Unlike Sal, I doubt this is Faith's fault. Based on what you said about her being in an abusive relationship, I think you and I are on the same page. I think you and her were forced to do something."

"Joe, shut the hell up. Right now." The warning in Brian's voice is quite evident.

"No, Brian! You need to tell us!"

"JOE STOP!" His hands are in his hair and he's literally freaking out. I swear, he actually pulls some hair out. I hate this, and it only confirms my suspicions.

"Brian, were you raped?"

It's like the whole world just stops. If I ever watched a man crumble like an old stone wall, it was this moment, watching Brian's face. Every defense he ever put up, every lie he ever told to hide himself, that one question shatters all of it to reveal the most vulnerable man I've ever seen. It's heartbreaking, soul wrenching, and I'm surprised that my skin is strong enough to hold in this immense amount of pain, sorrow, and guilt that I'm feeling. Let alone what he must be feeling. There I was that night, being angry because I thought he was cheating, and I was having sex with a random girl when he was fucking being... God, I can't even think of the word. Everything... it's just... too much. I run to the bathroom and puke up everything I've eaten and drank all day.

When I come back out, Brian's sitting against the door, holding his face in his hands and supporting his elbows with his knees. His shoulders are shaking and twitching. Joe and Murr both already have their arms wrapped tightly around him, and both have tear streaks down their cheeks. I join them in the hugging and the crying.

*********

I nearly cried writing this as well. I think I get too involved in stories sometimes. Who else is on the same page?

Anyways, so they figured out (generally) what happened to poor ol' Q. Now they just need to figure out Faith's shit. And goddamnit Sal, give her a break! But can you really blame him? If anyone were to take his Brian away from him, he's sure it would be her.

Do you think she'll confirm Q's vision thing, or was it all just a figment of his imagination? Hypnosis can be quite confusing, after all.

Please vote and comment.