Steamy Love

Part 4: Disgusting...

Brian's POV

After all these years, him constantly denying that he's gay and assuring the fans that he's into chicks... it turns out that he's really into guys. What the fuck?!

"No! It's just...I like girls, and thinking about any other guy in that way makes me sick." He looks like he's about to throw up again.

"So it's just one dude?" I feel really confused. A couple tears fall from his face; leaving a shiny trail down his cheek. I hug him, and he holds me so tight you'd think his life depended on it. "I don't care if you're gay, or if you like just one guy. You know that." His shaking gets so bad, I have to support him to keep him from falling over.

"Bri... You...you will care..."

"No, I won't."

"YES YOU WILL!" He suddenly pulls away and goes and sits on my couch; putting his head in his hands. I follow him. It doesn't bother me that he yelled; I know this must be hard for him. I'm about to sit next to him when he says, "Brian, it's you!"

Sal's POV

He's frozen in place. I can feel him staring two little holes into the top of my skull. I can't look at him. I feel so ashamed.

He carefully and quietly says, "What's me, Sal?"

I'm full on crying and gasping for air now. Joe was wrong. Telling him isn't helping at all. But I'm already too far into it; there's no turning back. "I like you, Brian! More than a friend should!"

"Like... you have a crush on me?" He sounds so disgusted...I knew he would. I'm not surprised, but it still hurts. I'm fucking up the balance of our group, ruining the show...destroying our friendship. I get up and make a beeline for the door. "Sal!" He grabs my wrist as I'm opening the door. "Please... Let's talk about this!" But I can't. I rip my hand away, get in my car, and speed home.

I park in my driveway and try to stop this fucking panic attack. My phone buzzes and I look at it, seeing Joe's name and picture displayed on the screen. I answer it and say in a shaky voice, "H-hello?"

"Brian's texting and calling me non-stop. What the fuck happened?" I don't respond as I try to stop the sobbing. "Did you...did you tell 'im?"

I nod but then realize that he can't see me. "Yeah...finally..."

"Are you ok? Do you need me to come over?"

"Actually I gotta go. Bye!" I quickly hang up and go inside and start chugging on a couple beers. I feel like the worst, most disgusting person on the planet. What kind of a guy has a crush on his best friend for years and doesn't say anything?!

Joe's POV

When Sal hangs up I immediately call Murray. "Murr, Sal finally told him. I'm going over to his house, can you go talk to Q?"

"Oh my god. Wow... Yeah, I'll go to Q's."

"Thanks." I hang up and head to Sal's. Not bothering to knock, I walk in and take my shoes off.

"What the fuck, Joe?! I said I don't need you to come over!" But he obviously does. His eyes are all puffy and his face is red as he stands at the top of the staircase looking down on me.

"Yes, you do." I ascend the stairs and lead him to his bedroom and sit next to him on his bed. His breath has the heavy smell of beer. "You need to talk to someone. I wish it were Q, but..."

"I can't..." He rubs his eyes, but the tears keep coming anyways. "He must hate me... I'm such a fucking loser!"

"You're not a loser, and how the hell will you know if he hates you or not if you don't talk to him?"

"I don't... But I can't stand it... I..."

"I know you don't wanna confront him. I know it's scary. But you've been best friends for over twenty years. There's no way he's gonna just hate you for this. He's not like that. The worst that'll happen is everything will be awkward for a while, but he'll get over it."

"Joe..." He sobs some more. "Now that he knows...I don't think I can be around him unless he feels the same way. I just... I can't..."

"Then talk to him! Find out how he feels about it." He finally looks at me. "I'm gonna be honest, it's very unlikely that he'll feel the same towards you. And if he doesn't, you're gonna have to get over it. But you'll never know unless you ask him."

Murr's POV

I bang on his door for what feels like the millionth time; then it finally swings open to reveal a very confused and frustrated looking Brian Quinn. "Well finally!" I walk past him without being invited in. He shuts the door behind me and follows me to the living room. "Talk. Now. I know what Sal told you."

"Do you? Do you and Joe BOTH know? Am I the only one that didn't?!"

I hate when he gets angry like this. Normally it's no big deal; twenty-some years of friendship has made it pretty difficult to hold hard feelings towards one another, despite what we say on TV. But when it's something this big, and Q's not happy, things can get... interesting. "Yes, we do. No, you weren't. The crew doesn't know, none of his other friends know. Not even his family knows. It's just me and Joe." His shoulders slump and I see the anger slowly leave his eyes. Thank god.

"How long?" He asks in a quiet voice. "How long has he...felt this way?"

I have him sit with me before I answer. "A long time, Brian. A very long time. I think high school, but he didn't tell us until college."

"Oh my god..." He pushes his hair out of his face. The look on his face tells me that he doesn't know what to think.

"So... What're you gonna do about it? 'Cuz we have to keep filming, and if you don't keep an open mind then Sal's... well... it won't be the same."

"Nothin's gonna be the same anymore, you idiot! But... I guess I'll just try to put it aside. Maybe he'll get over it?"

"Brian, he's felt this way for so long. If he hasn't gotten over it by now, what makes you think he ever will?"

"I don't know. But I'm not gay, or even bi. So...this is gonna get fucking weird."

"Only if you make it weird."

"Or if he does, which knowing him, he will."