What I Deserve ( ON HOLD)

Dancing while you cook

Snuggling deeper into my pillow I realise that it smells like Jonah and I take in a deep breath of his scent. Jonah? Wait a minute. He's never been in my room before.

Slowly opening my eyes I look around and realise that I'm in the living room under my covers but instead of my pillow I'm lying on Jonahs chest.

He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. His thick eyelashes fan out on to his cheeks and he has a small scar just below his nose that you would never notice unless you were this close, he also has a small scattering of freckles across his nose and his tanned skin looks as if it's from being outdoors.

Feeling like a creeper I pull back and sit up. Stretching to work out the kinks in my back and neck.

"Oh Olivia" Jonah mumbles. Looking over at him I expected to see him looking at me but he's still asleep. So he's a sleep talker? I could have some fun with that. I laugh to myself. Feeling groggy but much better than what I did yesterday morning I get up from the couch and put the covers back over Jonah and watch him snuggle deeper in to them.

I go to the toilet and do my business. When I look in the mirror splashing my face with water  I notice the finger marks on my arms. Pulling the neck of my top down I look at my shoulders and I feel angry about them. I feel angry that I let myself be so weak that I let him get away with how he treated me. I'm also angry for letting him put me down all the time.

I want to look in the mirror and for once feel happier about myself. I want to look at myself and think I look good and that I deserve to be treated right and have someone who loves me. I deserve more than what I am giving myself now.

I'm going to make a change to my life and I'm going to start with me.

Nodding at myself in the mirror I promise myself that I am going to start making small changes every day towards a better me. I've got rid of Mark and I've told Jonah about the extent of his behaviour towards me which was a huge thing. Now I'm not looking back only forwards.

Feeling a renewed sense of determination after my bathroom mirror pep talk I head for the kitchen in search of some breakfast.

Not knowing what Jonah would like I look in the fridge and take out some bacon, sausage, eggs, potato scones and black pudding and set about making a fry up for all of us.

Wondering if Scarlett came home last night I look around the room to see any evidence that she came home and find her shoes and bag at the front door along with a pair of boots and jacket. Naughty Scarlett! Breakfast for four it is then!

I usually cook with music because it relaxes me but I can't put it on just now with everyone still sleeping. Deciding I didn't want to be bored I go and fetch my earphones from my handbag on the kitchen counter and plug them into my phone. I bring up my Spotify and hit a playlist.

Wiggling my bum and hips to Drake - Too Good I dance like I'm a salsa dancer. I finish frying the eggs and put some toast on. I go over to the fridge and look in humming the song and find the butter and shut the door.

"Shit!" I screech when I see Jonah leaning against the other side of the fridge door. "You nearly made me pee my pants" I exclaim pushing his chest.

"I've been told I have that affect on woman" he chuckles. "What are you listening to? Those dance moves you were doing had me mesmerised the way you were shaking that bum of yours" he says pulling me by my waist to him.

My heart jumps into my throat at the heat in his eyes and the feel of his hands on my waist his fingers skimming my skin exposed from my tshirt riding up. I can't seem to form any words and he takes one of the earphones out putting it in his ear.