Something I Can't Have (Seme Male Reader x Kakashi) {Naruto Shippuden}

chapter 36

reader pov

it hurt. after 72 hours, it still felt fresh. like my arm was just ripped off and they drenched it with alcohol and lemon juice afterwards. the man i was gonna marry had already belonged to someone else. to think i put so much time and so much effort in to us. to think i love him. i still love him and no matter how much i cry, i still cant seem to shake that reality. i just had to run away. to a place i knew juugo would never find me. i since kiba and shika practically share a room now, i graciously took over kiba's room. no one seemed to mind or at least they were nice enough to not really bother me due to the state of grief im in right now. it was hard, but i did manage to stop beating myself up about it. im definitely a victim in this just like Mrs Taka. juugo is just awful. just a terrible person for what he did but even though i keep telling myself that over and over again, it still isn't helping me get over him. i still love the son of a bitch and would love it if he just showed up out the blue, got in this bed with me and i took out my anger with him in the form of angry sex. i would wreak him right now and im sure he wouldn't even stop me. im sooo horny and lonely and fucking depressed that im seriously fighting the urge to go out and find him my damn self but i know i cant. i know that i cant keep trying to have a man that wasn't mines in the first place. tsk...tell that to my heart. tell that to my brain who is constantly thinking of ways to get her out the picture.

maybe if i just....you know. juugo is a lawyer so im sure he would work something out to cover it up. might have to move a few times but...im sure its fine. i shook my head. listen to me. he was never mine in the first place. i dont have the right to try and take him. shit. i can feel them coming again. i thought i had finally run out of tears but here they are, soaking into this pillow once again. i heard a knock on the door. "...go away!!" my voice cracked, barely audible by the pillow my face is buried in. "i need to get some clothes!" i didn't even recognize the voice. shit. i cant just tell...who ever it is no cause its not really my room. i just grunted. i pulled the covers over me. i was in my undies. the door opened. some footsteps. someone fumbling in kiba's drawers. i sighed. one day i will actually make it out of this room. only time i leave is to use the bathroom, shower, and eat. i need to go to school. i know im way behind. "if you....you know, need any thing like a friend or whatever then im always here," said the guy. i chuckled. people always say that but how many of them actually mean that? i could use a person to hold right now but im sure it would be awkward to ask them that right? "tsk....you dont mean that," i mumbled. they dont. its a sentiment only meant to be taken at face value. "...im serious. anything i can do," he grunted again. i reached out and grabbed him, pulling him in the bed. i pulled his back to my chest and buried my face in his neck. i wrapped my arms around his waist and held him tight, my grip becoming stronger and stronger. from the skin on skin, id say he was just in his undies too. good. i dont want him taking this the wrong way. "just lay here with me till i fall asleep," i grumbled against his neck. this....this is good. getting a little easier. all i had was restless sleep for the past few days. i can already feel my body getting heavy. he shuffled a bit to get comfy. i could feel the deep pull of sleep. finally. thanks man, i can finally....go...to sleep.

-dream-

i was starting to become more aware of my surroundings. my eyes snapped open. i relaxed. a quick glance around showed that i was still in the penthouse. i let out a sigh of relief. some soft breathing against my hand. i looked to see i was in the bed with juugo. he was just sleeping peacefully. looks like i just had a nightmare. its weird cause it seemed soo vivid. the emotions i felt were real. the bubbling anger, the sadness, the deep sense of betrayal. all of them were still there swirling around in my head. all of them directed towards juugo. i sighed. i cant be mad at him for that long. i mean just look at him! so peaceful and warm and surprisingly soft. like a muscular teddy bear. tsk...im sure juugo wont mind if i....you know. just feel him up a bit. get him in the mood so he will be horny when he wakes up. i rubbed his chest, pinching and tugging at his dark nipples as i sucked on his neck. wow, this is turning me on. i could feel myself getting harder the longer i touched his body. his strong arms, broad chest, the light stubble on his pecs. oh god does he feel good. my hands drifted a little lower. i felt the edge of his undies. weird. juugo never wore undies to bed. guess there is a first time for everything. i slowly slid them down, careful not to wake him up right away. i tugged them off and tossed them. yeah, that wonderful ass pressed against me. i was at full attention. i shifted a little so it wouldn't bother him as i continued playing with him. i licked his neck as i massaged his chest. my hand drifted lower, grazing his dick. i could feel it twitching. looks like its working. i took it in my hand and started stroking him. gently tugging on the skin. i could feel him getting hard. he let out a low groan as he grew in my hand. i cupped his balls and gave em a massage. i dont know why but im really adept at hand jobs. its freaky. i could feel his body heat sky rocket and his breathing speed up. he let out low moans as i worked his manhood to full attention. i could feel his legs quivering and tightening around my hand. i gently lifted his thigh and reached under, grazing my fingers over his twitching hole. he started sweating. he gripped the sheets with both hands as i started fingering him while stroking him. i gently bit and nipped at his neck as i increased the number of fingers i worked inside him. he let out low groans as he tried to bite back the moans i was forcing out of him. "its ok....just let em out for me," i whispered as i kissed on his neck. "j-j-john," he whimpered, slowly starting to lose his fucking mind. "whatcha want from me, baby?" i whispered seductively. i gave his ass a squeeze. he moaned out. "lemme hear it," i prodded, becoming a bit more aggressive with my stroking and fingering. "i-i-i want you," he whispered, choking back another moan. i sucked on his neck as i ground my hips into his. he turned over in my embrace and pressed his lips against mine in a heated and needy kiss.