faded

43.0 - closer

an/ yall better buy perfect illusion on itunes

It happened just as it should've.

Zayn and I snuck off to get married. I thought I'd remember all the small details- the time, the way the place looked, the eyes of the priest. But it was hard to remember all that once he stood in front of me. In so many ways, it wasn't what I wanted. So rushed, so simple... But it turned out to be my dream. Just the two of us, a quick visit to a court house, and it ended with a chapel. Hidden off in the country side, the chapel appeared as though I had seen it in my dream. He was uneasy the whole day. He was careful when taking my hand. Zayn was shaky when he kissed me. But god, it was some kiss. In a white dress I had originally gotten when we were supposed to get married, in a necklace I had gotten on my 16th birthday, and with a baby blue flower in my platinum hair... I was a bride. And I didn't care about how I looked or how stupid people thought I was. I would've married him next to a dumpster.

"Angel," he begins, unfolding a crumpled sheet of white paper, "I promise to always take care of you. I promise to change and be the man you need me to be, someone you can count on and trust always. I promise I will love you as we grow older and I will love you even if we find ourselves farther and farther from one another. I will love you everyday or until the chances of us being together slip from slim to zero, I'll love you even at your worst or your face is faded like distant memory. I will love you no matter who you decide to be, I'll love you through every mistake and every bad moment. I promise to love you every tomorrow, I swear to love you even if I never see you again. This is all I can offer you, my life and my heart. You're my other half, my baby... You've always been my angel. I love you for everything that you've been, everything you are, everything you will be someday."

I cried.

And so did he.

I don't remember too much of the car ride back. I just remember the feel of his hand on my thigh, the radio softly playing an old song. At every red light there was a kiss, at every stop sign there was a longing look.

I wasn't Anastasia anymore, I was Anastasia Malik. And no one would make me regret it. I knew in my heart that this time it was all for real, I could tell by how he looked at me. There was no rage, no emptiness... Just love. The love I had wanted for so long was there and it belonged only to me.

And I belonged only to him.

Someday we'll talk about the wedding. Someday when it's all clear, when my vision isn't eternally clouded by tears. That'll be the day, I think. Someday.