faded

16.0 - force *

an- these first few chapters after the warning have been pretty tame, only because I'm trying to give you guys a chance to adjust. This chapter has *some* explicit scenes and this is the last warning. ⚠

"What?" Zayn stands up from the bed, putting space between him and Anastasia. "Ana, please tell me you're lying."

She shook her head in defeat, not willing to look at him. It had been too late and the damage had clearly already been done. The words had slipped out and even in her hazy state, she knew they had no substance. She was just very confused and very hurt, how could she make sense of anything when he was suffocating her?

Still, it seemed like the end of the world. Zayn picked up the closest object, which happened to be a vase, and threw it on the polished floor. Anastasia jumped at the sound, startled by how angry he was, but surprised he hadn't taken it out on her yet. It was coming, though, she knew that much.

"Zayn..." She called for him, but her voice was easily drowned out by the sound of the various objects on their dresser being thrown on the floor.

Zayn was like a mad man, locking the door to the room as he had the habit of doing. She knew it was too late. They were both too far gone. Anything that could have been fixed was gone.

"You don't love me."

Anastasia stumbled off the bed, afraid but confident she could avoid a confrontation and fix their relationship, no matter how toxic it was.

She grabbed both of his hands, terrified of the strange anger all over his face. "I didn't mean it, I didn't."

He shook her off, grabbing her wrists harshly, ignoring her cigarette burn and bruises. "I wanna fucking kill you right now, do you understand?"

Her eyes widened in horror. "Zayn, stop, please. You're really scaring me."

Something in him had snapped completely. In the months they had been separated, he felt betrayed. He hated that Anastasia abandoned him in the same way his father had, and later on, the rest of his family. The worst part was, he gave them motive to leave and watched them walk right out the door. He couldn't let her slip away like that again, especially when her absence had nearly driven him to his own demise.

He pushed her on the bed, not able to look at her. Zayn was beyond enraged and didn't want to end up doing something he couldn't take back.

"You know that I love you," Anastasia said quietly, pushing her hair out of her face. "You know I fucking love you."

"Just shut the fuck up, alright?"

"No, Zayn, you need to listen to me," she cried, "You know the truth."

He scoffed, pushing her down on the bed. He pinned her down with excessive force, her aching body making her cry out in pain.

"What truth?" He seethed, "That you wanted to get pregnant with James's baby and then pin it on me? That truth, Anastasia?"

Her face was drained of all color.

"You thought he wouldn't tell me," he added, "Well he did. He did and I stayed with you because it was too fucking late, I had already fallen. I fucking love you," a few tears fell on Anastasia's collar bones, "I love you and you can't stand to be with me."

"That's not true," she found herself crying as well, the sight of him so heartbroken tore her in pieces. "I do love you. I do. I made a mistake, Zayn, I made a big mistake. And I need you to please forgive me."

"I did a long time ago, don't you get it?" he got off her and steadied himself, wiping away at any traces of weakness from his eyes. "I've always just wanted you. You've always been enough. More than enough. But from the beginning you thought I was horrible, so that's what I became," his voice breaks, "I killed your godfather because he raped you. I found out that night. I had to do it. I killed James because he was up to no good, you didn't even know. I killed your father because he saw all this damage his own friends were doing to you, he did damage to you, and he didn't say anything. I've fucking killed for you. I've been a shitty guy, but don't tell me I haven't had reasons."