Fuck You, Mate

XV

Alice's POV

I watched as Peyton told some guy off in training. I have been here for two weeks now and the past week Peyton has been much more angry.

My wolf was getting restless, wanting to be closer to Peyton. But I pushed her further back and continued on like I had done my whole life. It was simply habit now, it came with ease.

Peyton was angry. His wall up. His jaw clenched and tighter than normal. He stayed in his office, going out at night and coming back after me, smelling of liquor, stumbling.

He's been drunk for days. I don't think his pack has noticed, but his thoughts are scrambled and his wall is off.

It's still up, but it's almost as if it is filled with holes. Splotchy. Random thoughts coming through.

The other night he stopped outside my room and I don't know what his intentions were but he sat there until he sobered a bit and then just disappeared outside again.

That was the second time he's done that. Had he come in, I would not have been happy. He would have heard about that. And so would others have.

He has no right to come into my room drunk out of his mind. Nobody does.

He suddenly turned to me and then his eyes glowed before he ended training.

I hadn't actually spoken a word to him in a few days. Probably four or more. And he has said the same amount.

He keeps his distance, his wall up, rarely looking at me.

I know why.

He clearly wants kids. A wife. A mate. A happily ever after.

I don't want kids. A husband. A mate. A happily ever after.

Not once have I pictured myself that way. Not at all. Not even for a second. Never considered myself in that situation.

I might have stayed with someone like I had with Boss. Fallen into a situation where I coincided with someone. But never more.

Never permanently.

Never serious.

It wasn't something I had ever thought of, not to mention wanted.

I had no need for children, nor somebody to rely on.

I didn't want them.

The guys were more than enough for me.

If I kept in touch.

They wanted to come up, and holding them off was getting more difficult. And I couldn't tell them the reason I couldn't visit. They didn't know about my wolf. The rogues. The battle.

They were my sense of normalcy in this fucked up world my life had become in the past months.

I looked around to find that the gym had emptied.

I changed and headed out the door. I sensed him nearby and stood outside the door as it closed behind me.

His chest was grazing my back moments later.

We stood there for a while and I continued to look forward. My wolf was happy at the closeness. I was not.

I liked the past week of just being here. Nothing more.

I did my thing. He did his. I didn't like that he was always hammered though.

I did like that he didn't come to where I worked though. Glad he didn't know where I was every night.

I was fighting again. Still. The Tracks were comforting in the same way the Underground was. The Puppeteer bet for me, and I was making decent money again.