You Found Me ➳ ft. Peyton Meyer

Chapter 19: What I've Lost and What I've Gained

(Please be forewarned: Mild swearing included very minimally)

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The drive was silent other than the soft hum of the songs playing on the radio.

It wasn't exactly a comfortable silence; it was more caused by the unspoken tension in the air and neither of us knowing what to say.

Peyton was driving, trying to look casual, using only his left hand to steer with his right arm leaning on the center counsel. But I could tell Peyton was a bit off, his hand was clenched so tight on the wheel his knuckles were white and the veins on his arm were protruding slightly more than usual.

His gaze never left the road in front of us, but I couldn't shake the feeling that he was still observing me out of the corner of his eye. I would know because I was doing the same with him. I was positioned with my hands in my lap as I starred ahead at the cars in front of us, pretending not to notice our antics.

We stopped at a red light when I could feel him staring at me. His eyebrows were a bit furrowed and his mouth slightly agape, as if he was deciding whether or not to say something. I wasn't going to say anything about it until I began to feel uncomfortable under his intense gaze, "Would you stop looking at me like that?" I said slightly embarrassed as I tightened my jacket across my chest.

"I'm sorry, I—just—um," Peyton began fumbling his words.

"The lights green."

Peyton slowly began to accelerate as we continued our drive to wherever he was taking me.

'If I'm supposed to be mad at him, why did I still get that butterfly feeling when he looked at me just now? Or get goose bumps from when our arms brushed against each other when we both leaned on the center counsel to get seated earlier? Or get a little lightheaded from the way he smells, because it reminds me of a rain shower in autumn mixed with the peppermint that you have at Christmas time while your warm and safe inside sitting by the fire? ...How could just one person have such a strong effect on me?'

I was drawn out of my thoughts as the car began to slow down to a stop. I soon realized we had pulled into a graveyard I recognized since I've gone to funerals here before.

As soon as we parked, Peyton got out and I followed suit doing the same.

Peyton went to his trunk and took out a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers. Peyton slowly closed the door to his trunk before leaning a hand on it and looking down at the ground, releasing a small huff of air from his lips.

"Peyton?" I whispered quietly.

He finally turned to face me, "Lets go." He said in a firm, low voice, but the sadness in his eyes betrayed the tough façade he was trying to pull off.

We began walking side by side before I felt a warm, familiar hand take mine. Peyton must have done it subconsciously because I looked up at him and he didn't seem to notice as our fingers naturally intertwined.

We began walking through the entranceway, a beautiful cobblestone pathway with a long flower arch overhead as a miniature tunnel.

As we came to the opening to the graveyard, Peyton's breathing started to quicken and his pace began to slow down until he was no longer moving. He was looking straight ahead, almost like he was in a daze.

"Hey," I said, moving to be in front of him. "Its okay," I said softly, using the hand I was not holding his in to lightly touch his cheek.

Our eyes finally met as he gave me a small nod that I returned.

I wasn't exactly sure what was going on, but I knew Peyton needed me and I realized in that moment, I'd always be there for him no matter what; whether it was as a friend or more didn't matter, I just knew I'd be there and I could only hope he felt the same about me.