Kiera
I was scared. I've never seen Ivan snap like this. Where's his smile? I want to see his smile. He mumbled something that sounded like a curse word. As if he was mad at himself. "Smile," how did that come out of my mouth? "What?" He asked in a frustrated tone. "Nothing, it's just that you never get mad you're always smiling." I feel extremely embarrassed now. "Oh. I'm sorry for throwing all my anger at you. Things just haven't been working out so well at home." He finally tried to smile for me, but his smile just didn't seem the same.
I sat down on the ground tired, and trying process what just happened. "What's going on at home? It's ok if you're not comfortable telling me." I said. "Will you worry about me?" He got so close to me that I felt like my heart was going to burst. "Well I don't know if I will, but I'm already worried enough to be honest." I said. He gazed at me for a few seconds which gave me butterflies in my stomach. "Fine, I've lost to you." He said finally giving me the smile I know. He back away from me and sighed.
"I just found out that my dad is a drugaholic. *sigh* I had an argument with him yesterday cause I found drugs under his bed and I was pissed off because he acted like it was nothing. Like he doesn't understand he could go to jail for that. He even told me that he quit his job like 3 months ago, and he never told me. Not only that, but my dad refuses to do anything other than drink. He wants me to start working, and my sister refuses to help us!" Ivan shouted those last words. "What about your mom?" I said. "I don't want to have to depend on my mom. To be honest I kind of hate her I mean she left us at the worst time possible. At that time my dad didn't have a job so she left cause she got tired of him. She left us." It kind of sounded like he forced the words right out.
It look like he wanted to break down in tears. I hugged him. I felt kind of bad for him. "It's ok you can cry if you want. I won't tell anyone, I promise." Right when I said those words, I can feel his tears fall on my shoulder I kind of felt like breaking down too. "I need work Kiera.....if I don't then who's going to pay the bills.....my stupid dad won't and my mom hates my dad so why would she give him money. Even if she would.......I don't want to depend on that woman." He calmed down and held me tighter. I wish I knew what to say.
"I'm so sorry Ivan. I honestly don't know what to say. I wish I did, I really wish I did," I broke down a little too. "It's ok you don't need to feel bad for me, don't worry about anything just be happy." He smiled. Damn his smile.
"Ok." I said
"Is this what love feels like?" I thought to myself as I felt my heart beating faster.
