Forbidden love [GirlxGirl]

Chapter 9

Becca's pov

"Come on Rebecca, what's going on?"

"Ethan let it go." I rolled with my eyes as said the phrase for what felt the 100th time. Ever since we went out for dinner, he was concerned.

"I can't let it go. We've been friends since childhood, you're my future wife. I know when something's up and is my right to know about it." He told me as he slurped his spaghetti Bolognese into his mouth.

"I just have some figuring out to do. You can't help me with that, just gotta work on myself." I finally admitted.

"Has it anything to do with that Tyler girl again?"

"Nope" I answered truthful. Yeah part of it had to do with Tyler, but it had mostly to do with myself.  Although Tyler hurt me a lot and made it very clear that she didn't have any feelings for me doesn't mean that I have to ignore the fact that I feel something for. I just have to figure out what all of this meant for. Maybe it was the excitement of Rumspringa or maybe... just maybe I was just like Tyler. I mean I never felt something like this about Ethan nor about any other guy. And thinking back, I had always felt different from other girls in the community. But that doesn't mean I had to be---? No. 

"Rebecca?"

"Hm?" I replied as I cut a slice of my pizza.

"Did you hear what I said?" He sounded irritated.

"No, sorry."

"We have to start planning a goodbye party for David, Leah and Luke."

"Urm isn't it like two months till they leave?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah but I want to make it special. We won't see them in a long time and I've grown pretty close with them over the past three months, unlike you. You have spent way to much time with that Tyler girl."

"You want to make it special for Leah, don't you?" I ignored his remark about Tyler.

His cheeks turned red "What do you mean?"

"Oh come on" I rolled my eyes "You indeed grew pretty close to Leah. Maybe a bit too close?"

"Don't be like that Rebecca, I'm going to marry you not Leah." He stated.

"But you like her." I told him as if I knew it for a fact.

"Okay Rebecca, look, I like her and she likes me but apparently we don't belong together otherwise God wouldn't have let the community decide that we should get married."

Ugh. I thought I didn't have to hear that religious talk for at least a few months as I was out of the community. But oh well...

"Ethan, I think you're a great person and a great friend but nothing more than that. I won't hold you back if you want to marry her." I said before putting a piece of pizza in my mouth.

"It's not really an option and you know it. Leah is gonna marry Luke and I gonna marry you. The community will abandon Leah and I if we decided to marry or you and Luke would both have to decide not turning back after Rumspringa. I don't see that happening." Ethan sighed.

"Maybe I won't be turning back." I muttered under my breath as Tyler popped up in my mind. My cheeks immediately turned a deep shade of red and I hoped that Ethan didn't hear me.

"What?" He frowned.

"Nothing. Let's just drop this for now. We'll figure something out and make sure they have a great goodbye party, okay?"

Ethan nods as we finished up our meal. We head soon after we paid. Ethan hugged me quick after the cab brought us to our apartment building.

"See you soon" I said after the elevator stopped on my floor. I opened the door of my apartment and immediately heard the television sound, which told me Tyler was home. I hadn't seen here since yesterday morning so I felt a bit nervous and considered what I was gonna do next. After reminding myself that Tyler probably felt awkward, too, I walked into the livingroom.

"Hi" Tyler looked up from the screen, whilst having books and notes on her lap.

"Studying?"

"Mhm" she nodded "exams starting next week and considering I've also gotta work quite a few times..."

"Right." I rubbed my forehead "Tyler, do you have time to talk?" I seated myself in the chair next to the couch where she was sitting on.

"I knew this was gonna happen. It needs to happen." Tyler sighed "Look, Rebecca, I'm just really sorry about what I did. I shouldn't have brought that girl into your house, into your bed or even into my vagina. I know that I hurt you because of what happened with us before. I know that kiss meant something you, even if you don't know what. But, to be freaking honest, that kiss also meant something to me and I don't know what either. I'm more likely to be a girl to have fun with and a one nightstand. I'm really not the one for commitment but you... you give me feelings I can't really place and I had to relieve myself from that, so that's why I did what I did and I'm sorry, Becca, I really am." She looked down at her hands after her confession.

"Woah, Tyler, that's not really what I meant when I asked you to talk, but thank you for saying this because it really means a lot to me. I am hurt but I'm glad you said this. I think we have some figuring out to do together." I felt tears stinging in my eyes "Tyler, I think I'm you know... urm... gay. But I'm not sure because it isn't common in the Amish community. Like no one ever educated me in it, hell, I didn't even know it existed before my Rumspringa. I just don't know what to do, Ty. I know that Ethan, my family and other people around me would never ever accept it and how am I even sure? The only thing I know for sure right now is that I like you a lot."

"Becca, look at me." My blue eyes soon found Tyler's concerned, yet warm brown eyes "We will figure this out together. Your family isn't here right now and Ethan, Luke, David and Leah don't have to know anything. I'm here for you and it will be hard for both of us but we're gonna do this together. I promise."

I leaned in to Tyler as she wrapped her arms around me and kissed my temple, softly "First thing I'm gonna do after my exams is taking you on a proper date."

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It's been awhile, sorry :( But from now on I'll definitely update more regularly, I promise :) I just enjoy writing and I hope you enjoy reading this story. Feedback, negative or positive, is always welcome!