The Wrong Way Around [Phan]

Chapter 39

Phil's Pov

It had finally happened. Dan had died in his sleep last night, and I was absolutely crushed. There was really no way to describe how I felt. No matter how hard I tried to think of a way to, I literally just couldn't.

I really had to fight the urge to kill myself that day. It was a matter of getting rid of all the pain and hoping there was no afterlife for Dan to see me in, or continuing my life in Dan's memory.

I decided to make a video.

"Hey guys," I choked out through my tears. "So, Dan died last night. He truly loved all of you. He was a great person, and deserved everything he ever got and more. Now, um... I don't know if any of you knew this, but I've had depression for quite a while now. To be honest, I was probably going to end up killing my self sooner or later anyway. But now I have a really, really good reason to. Not that there are ever really good reasons to commit suicide, but... you know..."

I trailed of for a second and started sobbing.

"I love you guys all so much. I wish I didn't have to say goodbye like this, but this is just the way it's going to have to be, I guess. Bye guys."

It was short and to the point, but by this time I just couldn't function properly enough to make a good video. I quickly uploaded it and rushed to my bedroom, grabbing my blades. Then I ran to the bathroom, grabbing a towel and filling the tub with a bit of water.

I held my wrists over the shallow water, and carefully dragged the blade across the fragile skin on them. The blood started flowing immediately, and my vision was already becoming blurred.

"Come on," I told myself. "Just a few more, then it'll all be over."

I pulled the small, silver object over my wrists a few more times, watching the blood turn the water red. I felt myself falling into the tub, my face submerged by water. I tried to lift it out, but found I couldn't. I thrashed around, now unable to see anything. Quickly, I covered my wrists with the towel. I experienced a few more moments of pain before...

Nothing.

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Sorry about how short this chapter is.