numb

fourteen

freya played me more of erykah badu music like, window seat, love of my life, didn't cha know, and more. i would catch her singing along to the songs, i will never be able to get use to that beautiful voice. if she wasn't majoring in music then she wasn't following her true dreams.

now we're just laying on her bed while lauryn hill "ex-factor" plays softly in the background. freya eyes were closed with a slight frown planted on her lips.

"does this song give you memories?" i ask, curious why she looked so sad all of a sudden.

"i had an ex who i can relate to this song." she opens her eyes but stares at the ceiling. she sighs and her mouth seem to drop longer

she continues. "we were no good for each other. all we ever did was fight, it was pointless but we always kept going back. it was so stupid, i'm so stupid."

freya breathed out the last sentence.

"no, your not stupid. you were in love." i say.

"being in love is stupid but i can't help but fall into it." she shrugs and looks at me. her eyes are red and slightly puffy from crying and she sniffled.

i knew where she was going with this and i couldn't listen to it. i'm not a guy you should like. i'm no good, i will be no better than her ex.

we just can't get that far, i care about her. that's why i'm distancing myself away.

"freya.. i'm no good. i'm not this good guy you think i am, okay? i'm the bad guy in every situation." i get up from the bed and stand by the door. "we can't do this. i'm not allowing it. but lets face it, you don't like me or care you're just curious to find out about the suicidal, mysterious guy. well i'll help you cut to the chase. i'm the bad guy."

and with that i walked out her room and out her home.