Loss | Kim Taehyung

025: pressuring.

加圧
PRESSURING

"are you sure you're okay?" inha asked for the nth time.

"very."

"but are you sure? because these past few days you've been—"

taehyung really didn't want to be those guys who interrupt girl when they're talking by kissing them, but he was tired of inha pestering him for hours. so taehyung grabbed her chin and closed the small distance between them without much of a warning. it was short and sloppy; inha looked at him with confused and rather annoyed eyes after he pulled away.

"i'm fantastic. now stop it, okay? nothing's wrong." he kissed the tip of her nose just for reassurance.

inha pouted, undoubtedly not convinced by his words but didn't question him further. taehyung smiled at the way she sat cross-legged on the couch, playing with the hem of her shirt as she watched whatever was on tv, taehyung wasn't paying attention. there were other things he'd rather be focusing on, like how adorable inha looked when she was annoyed—annoyed at him, more specifically.

taehyung's hands absentmindedly played with her hair, brushing a strand over her ear and twirling her locks with a finger. inha sat unbothered by his act, eyes still trained on the tv. she was so pretty and taehyung was too fucking fond. the thought that previously clouded him days ago easily washed away whenever he was in her presence.

it was like he was never sad at all.

/

inha sat cross-legged facing the tv while taehyung sat with his knees to his chest and facing her. his fingers brushed the skin of her cheek occasionally as he kept playing with her hair. it was a habit that taehyung picked up, and something that she found herself loving. the boy's gentle fingers sent a soothing a feeling down her chest.

"why do you let me kiss you?" taehyung asked out of the blue. the feeling of taehyung's fingers running through her hair was no more. inha almost whined.

"well because you do and i— i don't know."

she did know. inha let taehyung kiss her because she wanted to be kissed. she wanted to feel again, wanted to be touched in ways that could make her lose her mind. she wanted that feeling of having butterflies in your stomach.

but did she want taehyung?

inha hadn't thought of it that far.

"so you don't want me to kiss you?" inha looked at him, didn't miss how the boy's face fell, "you only let me because i want to? that it'd make me feel better?"

"that's not what i meant."

"what are we?"

inha clenched her fist. she hated the question a lot, hated taehyung for repeating it. did they really have to be anything? wasn't this just enough? obviously not, for taehyung. the boy would always ask for more and inha wasn't ready for anything serious and concrete. she still needed time to breathe.

inha sighed, wished that taehyung would just understand.

"taehyung. not this again," she snapped. felt a little bad about the sullen look on his face. she tried to sound softer, "you've asked this before, remember?"

"well, i'm asking you again. what are we?" inha set her mouth in a firm line as the boy spoke, "we're obviously not just friends. and don't say you can't give me an answer because i haven't actually asked you to be my girlfriend yet—which i only do because i know that you're still not fully with me."

"taehyung."

"and i can't handle another day knowing that's how things are and you might just leave me for someone else and—"

"i like you, taehyung," she interrupted. the boy shut up, inha heard the intake of breath seconds after. she gulped, looked at the tv instead of him because if she did, then she would just clam up and the words would fail her at the tip of her tongue. "i like you a lot—more than a lot. i won't leave you. i'm not ready for anything other than that. i'm sorry."

inha's heart was hammering in her chest. she didn't know saying how she truly felt would be this hard. taehyung made it look so easy. she set her eyes downcast, suddenly feeling apologetic of everything she'd done. she gave him false hope, led him on, made him think that she returned his feelings.

she wasn't lying about liking taehyung. inha truly cared about the boy, she was slowly and undoubtedly growing fond of him as the days went by. but she knew she hadn't fully let go of jimin yet, and she didn't want to be in a relationship when she was still hung up on her dead boyfriend.

"no, don't apologize," taehyung sighed, "i wasn't pressuring you or anything. it just keeps running through my mind, 's all."

"it's okay. i'm still sorry."

inha rest a hand on taehyung's knee which he wrapped hers with his own. he brought their intertwined hands to his lips. as taehyung planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand, inha thought of how taehyung had said that he wasn't pressuring, yet it was only after he said it that she realized she actually felt pressured. felt that taehyung's happiness was in her hands.

taehyung gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and inha really hoped that it was enough to lift the everlasting weight off her shoulders.

it wasn't.

+ a/n:
short chap but fuck it i'm posting the rest of the chapters soon this is already finished in my drafts be ready :-)