Loss | Kim Taehyung

017: rushing.

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RUSHING

taehyung wasn't an impatient guy.

actually, he was too patient that it drove him crazy sometimes. he had been best friends with jimin after all, it was necessary for him to be patient. otherwise, both of them would've gone crazy a long time ago.

he found himself dialing her number and it's embarrassing how he already had it memorized by heart. it was late, he didn't expect her to pick up yet felt this sudden rush in his chest. didn't even know what he wanted say, only knew that he just needed to hear her voice and maybe, he wouldn't be confused anymore. maybe he could finally sleep.

"this is unfair," he said when the line connected, not bothering to return the hello she gave him.

"taehyung?" inha sounded like she had just woken up from sleep.

"it's unfair how you keep acting like nothing's changed like i'm not in falling for you and like we didn't kiss and did more than that—"

"tae."

he hated the sound of his name on her lips. hated it so fucking much that he'd do anything to get her to never say it again.

"it's unfair how you're being ignorant and pretending that everything's the same when it's not. because i think i'm in love with you and we fucked and you're honestly just fucking me up."

inha was silent on the other line. he could only hear her breathing that masked all her other emotions, wished that everything was easier and they didn't need to have this conversation right now. wished he never slept with her, never broke the obvious boundary that could ruin what they had right now if he went too far.

it was already too late for that, anyway.

"and i think i hate you a little. despite everything."

it was late and he didn't really have his mind intact, but he knew his ears weren't deceiving him when she said the next two words. barely a whisper, yet rang so clear in his head that she might as well had been next to him.

"come over."

/

for the second time, the two were on the couch, her arms and legs wrapped around him so tight that taehyung didn't have to worry about her falling off.

he didn't know how this happened again. they weren't even drunk to begin with. couldn't really think about it, couldn't think about who started it first with the way her lips trailed down his neck while his own quivered slightly with every touch. he rested one hand on the small of her back as the other trailed up her skirt which he admitted, had been doing things to him ever since she opened her front door. why she was even wearing a skirt at this hour was beyond him.

but it wasn't like he was complaining.

it was almost like the roles are reversed. she was the one who was planting kisses down his neck and he was the one who felt like pushing her off. didn't know why. this was what he wanted, wasn't it? they were together, yet they weren't really. he might've had his hand on her thigh but he knew her heart was nowhere near his grasp.

taehyung didn't want this to be a meaningless hook-up because she meant everything to him. every time he had spent with her, he cherished all the seconds. if he didn't stop this now, things would just go out of hand. they already did. it might've been easier this way for her as her feelings weren't involved. but his were, and he's tired of always being the only one who got hurt.