Loss | Kim Taehyung

016: normalizing.

正規化
NORMALIZING

"you're glowing," yuri pointed out. inha had noticed her friend staring at her all day. all day, yuri had been trying to point out just what it is that changed about her. inha, of course, chose to keep to herself until the girl figured it out on her own.

"aw, thanks, i got new makeup last week—"

"no," her friend sitting across from her interrupted and sighed exasperatedly, "you're glowing. as in, the kind of glow i only see hours after a really good fuck."

inha only picked at her lunch, watched as her friend's eyes widened in realization. she chuckled at how ridiculous yuri looked as her mouth formed an 'o'.

"holy shit. my girl got laid!" she exclaimed, a little too loud that people around whipped their heads at them. inha clamped yuri's mouth with her palm, gave her a look that said shut it because she didn't need everyone in the cafeteria to know about her sex life.

the girl mouthed a sorry when inha withdrew her palm but still wore the look of shock and... giddy? she didn't understand why the girl looked happier than she was. after all, it was her who got laid, not the other way around.

"are you legit?" she whispered and looked around like they were talking about some top-secret shit.

inha rolled her eyes. "yes, now shut up and let me it."

"um, no," the girl took her chopsticks away from her hand. all that was left was the spoon on her tray. how was she supposed to eat ramen with a spoon? "spill first. who was the guy? do i know him? rate him on a scale of one to ten?"

inha sighed. "taehyung. i think i've mentioned him to you before but you guys never met. a fucking eleven." the last part slipped out without her thinking through it. felt heat crept up her cheeks. her hand absentmindedly tugging at the collar of her button down that hid the marks he made on her the previous night. she admitted that taehyung had been good, hell, more than just good. he'd been amazing. he knew what to say, what to do, what she liked and didn't like. taehyung made her feel special.

"you're blushing."

"i know."

and that was just it. taehyung was just a one-time thing because inha still couldn't help the voice in the back of her that kept telling her it was wrong. she was dirty for even thinking about, that jimin wouldn't appreciate her sleeping with his best friend.

but jimin was dead and she was pathetic and weak for letting him affect her this much when he wasn't even alive.

"would you do it again?"

yes. "no."

/

inha really didn't know what to expect after everything. it wouldn't be odd things would get awkward between the two. so it's odd when everything seemed normal.

it had been five days since that night and inha had only seen taehyung twice. mostly because she had college and he was always out and about. but he acted like nothing happened between them. supposed that it was nice that he was trying to make things easier for the both of them but it was just weird.

all the times they weren't together, taehyung still texted her too. even spammed her pointless messages and pictures of the stray cat he had found in front of his apartment building. he couldn't stop gushing about how adorable the cat was, and if it would be a great idea or not if he adopted it.

inha shot that idea down. there was no way she trusted taehyung to take care of another living thing. she wasn't going to risk it for the sake of the poor cat's life.

inha was in her living room in the middle of finishing up a paper for class when she heard a knock on her door. she got up and abandoned her work, tying her hair in a ponytail as she went out of the living room.

taehyung stood in the hallway with takeout bags on both of his hands. he was grinning, but it faltered slightly as he did a once-over on her. it was then that she became fully aware of how she was only in a tank top and pajama shorts, her collarbones completely exposed with her hair pulled back.

taehyung cleared his throat, "i come bearing free food." he walked inside, probably trying to act unfazed, but she had caught his look just seconds before.

"free?" she kicked the door closed with her heel. she grabbed a jacket from her coat rack, slipping it on before joining taehyung in the living room.

"yeah, courtesy of jung hoseok," taehyung was pulling the boxes of what smelled like teriyaki out of the plastic bags. he set them on the coffee table, careful to avoid her papers and books.

inha went back to her books to finish up a paragraph as taehyung went to the kitchen to fetch them drinks. he returned with, fortunately, not soju. he set the two cans of soda on the table and turned on the tv.

the two ate in comfortable silence with inha sitting on the floor and taehyung on the couch. a romance drama played on the screen and taehyung would occasionally whine or comment how unrealistic it was whenever cheesy scene came on. inha only laughed at his complaints and groans of disgust.

it was nice, having him here and not being alone. it was during times like these that she felt her best, forgot about the grief and worries and everything else that kept bothering her. in all honesty, she thankful for taehyung.

at some point, taehyung had laid down on the couch with his head on the armrest. that's when she felt his fingers on the curve of her neck. he wasn't doing anything, just hovering over her skin and tracing lines up and down with his index finger. inha pretended not to notice and hoped that he didn't notice how her whole body had tensed.

taehyung tucked a strand of her that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear.

"will things ever change?" between us.

it was a question that had been glued to her mind for a while, and she knew she couldn't give him the answer he wanted to hear. not yet.

so she stayed silent, chewed on the teriyaki that he had brought for her and hoped that everything would feel normal again.

+ a/n:

blessedt