PASTEL BOY <3 (Kellic)

Vic

I wake up feeling numb.

I know today's Monday, so we have to go back to school.

I turn to my side, seeing kellin fast asleep. I decided not to wake him, since it's pretty early in the morning, i think.

I look over to the digital clock.

5:13am

Yep, pretty early.

I sit up, stretching my limbs out, and making a dinosaur screech.

I know this won't wake kellin, he's a deep sleeper.

I scurry out of his bed, still in the boy clothes.

I look at my body in disgust, I hate boy clothes.

Walking to the bathroom, I pick up my clothes from yesterday, the ones that mike gave me, and slipped them on.

I folded kellins clothes neatly, and set them on the bed.

I wrapped up my laces of my purple shoes and walked out the room.

I took out my phone, it was already 5:30am. So I still had a lot of time to get home and go to school.

I walk out the door, closing it softly behind me, and started my journey to home.

As I walk, I begin to ponder of something terrifying.

Like, what would happen if my dad found out? That mom died?

He would be beyond pissed, mostly at me.

I wasn't there to protect her.

Somehow, I feel like this is my fault. I wasn't there in time. I didn't know what she was doing because I was with kellin. I couldn't be with them, because of me.

I stare down at the concrete in shame, although, I don't really feel anything.

I had a special connection with my mother, but not my dad.

My mom was always there, always.
Whenever I got a fever, she was there to cure me. Whenever I self-harmed, she was there, whenever I was bullied, or feel like shit, she was there.

Hell, she gave me birth, provided me with fucking life.

She gave me a roof over my head, food on the table, and happiness.

But now, she wasn't there for that.

No, she was gone. It wasn't her time.

My dad however, he's another story.

Yes, he payed for our house and food, but he was never there.

Always at work, or at the bar, probably cheating on my mother.

At a young age, he was there.

It's like when I started wearing girl clothes, he just vanished from my life.

And it hurt me the most because he bought me my guitar, the one thing that helped me through all of this.

Especially when kellins ganged jumped me and raped me.

That was the most horrific thing I've encountered, but the bruises faded, and that's always hitting me hard at night.

The fact that people used me for their own personal pleasure, to tourture, to abuse, was fucked up.

I'm fucked up.

I see my house up-a-head, and I run to it.

I open the door, suprised that it was open and shut it.

I look around the house.

Empty.

No mother cooking.

No father reading the newspaper.

No mother singing, or blasting Spanish music.

No father laughing and smiling with mother.

No one.

I sigh and head upstairs.

I look at the time again.

6:45am

I guess I'll get dressed now, all this thinking got me sad.

I hear mike get up from the other room, so I quickly head to my room.

I decided to shower, to help me relax.

I strip from my clothes, and unwind the bandage on my leg.

I turn on the shower, testing it, and hoping in.

After that I hopped out, a towel around my torso, and head to my closet and pick out and outfit.

I pick out the darkest clothes I could find, because I feel like shit and I want my outfit to match my emotions.
I also wrapped up my leg again, seeing as it wasn't fully recovered.
I slid on the black crop-top that goes with a skirt, and peeled on the thigh highs.

I pulled on my chunky black shoes and tie the laces, and head to the bathroom.

I straighten my hair, and put on deodorant, and perfume.

I pick out my black kitty back pack and check the time.

7:50am

Only ten minutes left to spare.

I'm pretty sure mike just got up to piss, because he's not down here and ready.

Oh well, I guess he's moping.

I shoved my phone in my skirt pocket and take a deep breath in, and out.

Time for school.

( hey there you sexy noodle, so people said yes to the smut so I'll grant your wishes.

Also, sorry for not updating for a while, I've been sleeping over my cousins house a lot for some reason.

STAY GUCCI)