"Mama wake up," Luca giggled.
I stirred briefly, never opening my eyes.
"Mmmph. Luca, baby go back to sleep."
"But, but..." He began to wine.
"Listen to your mother," came groggily from behind me.
My eyes darted open. Shit. I was at Lindsey's. The storm. Right. I sat up, leaning back on my elbows, looking around. "Hmm. Powers back on," I noted, more to myself than Lindsey.
"You look funny, Mama," Matty giggled from where he was kneeling next to his brother. "You're wearing my daddy's shirt!" He pointed at me.
I leaned forward and tickled my boys, distracting them with laughter.
Lindsey rolled to his side, I could see him watching us with a smile, eventually placing his hand on the small of my back just under my shirt and lightly rubbing his thumb against my skin. I flinched slightly when he did so, not intentionally, but just out of reflex.
"Okay, boys," he eventually instructed as the tickling turned into some brotherly wrestling with Mama eventually landing a foot to her stomach. "That's enough, what do you say?"
"Sorry Mama."
"Yeah, Sorry Mama."
"Just be careful you two, and remember that you're inside, okay," I warned. "Now, let's go see what Daddy has for breakfast." I grabbed their little hands as the pulled me into the kitchen. I hadn't spent much time here but I was able to find my way around well enough to make pancakes while Lindsey brewed a pot of coffee. His house was a mix of things, my homey design aesthetic from the plans when it was originally purchased, followed by Lindsey's masculine finishing touches coupled with a visit from what appeared to be tropical storm three year old. Still, the crayon drawings of a dog and a boat hanging on the thousand dollar stainless steel fridge which contained at this juncture only beer, milk and bacon made me smile.
"Sorry there's not much in the fridge, I was going to grab groceries this morning." He handed me a cup as he came up behind me, arms encircling my waist while I cooked.
"Lindsey, please, stop," I seethed.
He stepped back, hands up, with a taken aback look on his face.
"I'm sorry," my tone softened, lowering my voice to almost a whisper. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bark at you like that, but the boys are right there. That's not something we need to be answering questions about. We already dodged the bullet about sleeping next to each other last night." I sighed, "I just don't want you to get the wrong impression."
"And tell me, Stevie, what's the right impression?" He set his jaw.
"It's- we- I don't know, Lindsey, there is no impression.
He shook his head, remaining somewhat silent.
"Can we just not work through this in front of our three year old sons? That's all I'm asking."
"You're right, you're right," he agreed. "I'm sorry."
I finished cooking breakfast while he played toy cars in the living room with the boys.
We ate our pancakes with a rousing round of conversation about catching grasshoppers, how awesome firetrucks are and jumping into swimming pools.
"I bet daddy would take you swimming in the back yard after breakfast if you cleaned up your toys and your blankets from last night," I told them, Luca and Matty both staring wide eyed at Lindsey waiting for a response.
"Of course we can boys, but listen to your mother. Clean up your toys and go upstairs to get your swim trunks on."
"Mama," Luca asked hesitantly, "will you stay and swim with us?"
"Yeah, Mama! Stay here!" Matty chimed in enthusiastically.
"You're going to spend the day the week with Daddy guys, we talked about this on the airplane. I have to work while we're out here, remember?" I reminded them gently.
Luca hung his headed and pouted, which almost literally broke my heart. Matty began to protest when Lindsey interjected, catching me off guard.
"Aw, come on, Mama," he looked at me, speaking more with his eyes than his words, "surely you've got a few hours to spare that you could spend with us."
I couldn't resist. "Alright," I laughed, which was met with two tiny cheers and an adult sized half a smile that made me weak in the knees. "Go get your things picked up guys, I'll be in your room in a minute to help you change."
I cleared the dishes to the sink and put Luca and Matty in their swimsuits, slathering them head to toe in sunscreen before letting them go join Lindsey who was already on the pool deck. Quickly changing into a black bikini, I pulled my hair back and adorned my face with oversized sunglasses, wishing I had a cover up and an oversized hat in my bag. I lay down on an oversized float I had found in Lindsey's pool shed and ooooh'ed and awww'ed over endless "look at me!" and "watch me!" requests as the boys jumped into the pool. Lindsey was in his glory and I had almost forgotten how much I loved to watch him father our children. I smiled, thinking about how lucky my sons were to have him and how even though we've had a bumpy road, I've been so lucky to have him on this wild ride with me. The day wore on and I eventually had to go, already running behind schedule for my day. I kissed the boys goodbye, letting Lindsey know I'd be at the condo if an emergency came up.
He followed me outside. "Are we going to talk?"
I looked at my watch. "Yeah. Yes. But I'm so sorry Lindsey I have plans tonight that I'm already late for and I can't reschedule. But yes. We need to talk."
"Another time, it's alright, go, have a good evening," he told me, shooing me to my car.
"Thanks," I told him and meant, giving him a peck on the cheek. He stood in his driveway, hands in his pockets rocking on his heels as he watched me drive away.
"Shit," I said out loud to no one. "What did I just start?"
