Lindsey had arrived to relative chaos in our house, Luca having just spit up all over my blouse, my hair a wild mess from the lack of time to shower, and both babies crying for different reasons. Christine had walked to the store and I was outnumbered. I was relieved to see him, his eyes widening at the scene in front of him.
"Hey," I acknowledged him between Lucas screams as I simultaneously bounced him and gently rocked Matty in his bassinet. "I'm sorry, I was trying to have them ready when you got here."
He dropped his bags at the door, surveying everything unfolding for a moment, then looking back at me. "What do you need me to do?"
"Just hold Matty for a minute, he'll calm down. How was your flight," I asked him, glad for some adult conversation.
"Fine, just really long," He stopped to kiss Luca on the top of the head, telling him hello, and giving me a quick peck on the cheek.
"Hey, Matty, Daddy missed you so much!" he cooed over the tiny crib. "Come here buddy."
"I'm going to change, be right back," I told him, glancing over at Matty, who's eyes were growing a little bit bigger as he looked at Lindsey. I took my blouse off quickly, but wasn't even dressed in a new shirt when I heard Matty screaming hysterically and Lindsey attempting in vain to calm him. I threw on my robe and grabbed Luca, tossing our dirty clothing into a hamper and emerged quickly to see what the issue was. Lindsey looked stunned.
"Whats wrong with him," he asked me, horrified.
I shook my head in dismay, acting like I wasn't sure either. I knew that cry though- he was upset because he didn't recognize Lindsey. I lay Luca down on his tummy and took Matty from Lindsey, the baby immediately calming as I wrapped him in my embrace.
I could tell that Lindsey realized what had happened, though he wasn't acknowledging it. "Hey buddy," he spoke softly to Matty who remained in my arms as Lindsey stroked his back. "Did you just want your Mama? I'm sorry I frightened you, I just missed you a lot little man."
Matty's tears eventually stopped and he fell asleep, allowing me my first few minutes of reprieve all day. I let out a sigh when I realized they were both asleep.
Lindsey just looked at me.
I blushed a little bit, looking away. "Sorry, I'm a mess."
"No," he quickly interrupted. "I was actually just thinking how beautiful you are with my children in your arms."
I continued to stare at my feet, refusing to give him the benefit of the doubt and wondering if he was giving me a line, the image of him with that woman still burned into my mind.
"So, um, Chris should be back any minute. I'll take a quick shower and then we can go out for a few hours?"
"That sounds great. Take your time."
"Grab me if they need me."
"We'll be fine, Stevie."
I nodded and retreated to my room.
An hour later, after feeding both boys, I applied the finishing touches to my makeup and slipped into a little black dress, pleased that I'd already lost the bulk of my baby weight. I had been spending a fair amount of time outside, and though I avoided the sun my hair was turning a bit of a lighter color of blonde and my complexion was flawless and glowing. My confidence was definitely back.
I emerged from my bedroom to find Lindsey ready and waiting for me in the living room, drink in hand as he sat perched on a stool next to the boys who were playing in their bouncers.
