I woke up when the sunlight beamed through my windows, stretching out and breathing in the fresh air breezing in from the veranda. I had struggled for sleep the night prior, rethinking the day's events and still wondering what exactly Lindsey was expecting from me. I quickly washed my face and pulling a silk robe on over my nightgown, exiting my room and making my way into the kitchen.
He was standing in his boxers with unruly hair and an unshaven face, leaning against the kitchen sink, cup of coffee in hand. Though Lindsey always had the tendency to rise earlier than I, the time difference appears to have only recently gotten him out of bed.
He smirks at me, reaching for a small pile of things that lay perched on the counter.
"Well, well, well, Nicks, I didn't know you were a fan," he grinned from ear to ear, not even able to keep a straight face as he teased me, holding up a copy of his new record that Karen had apparently dropped off while I was asleep. "Do you want me to sign it for you," he kid. "I'm not sure if you're aware, but I'm pretty famous," he laughed.
I blushed a little, knowing that he knew exact why I wanted the record, and swatted playfully at his arm. Moving past him, I poured myself a cup of coffee which I then held with both hands, still waking up as he continued to tease my about my newest acquisition of his music.
"You know you love that I have it," I told him, standing onto my tip toes to give him an unexpected quick peck on the cheek before turning on my heels to walk outside and drink my coffee.
I could hear him following me like a lost puppy and I smiled a little bit. I had lay awake the night before feeling bad about how I left things with him- but with our lives as they currently were I just didn't see a reason to get wrapped up in each other once again over just a weekend. And I sure as hell wasn't naive enough to think we could share a fun weekend with no strings.
Chatting with him over breakfast, I realized just how excited I was to spend the day with him. We had a lot of history, but with that came a deep connection. I knew I would never be able to be just friends with Lindsey on a grand scale but since he was already here, I wanted to show him my new life.
"I'm talking you out today," I told him.
"A second date already," he teased, taking another bite of the pastry he had found in my kitchen. "Looks like I've still got it."
I rolled my eyes at him. "It's not a date, Linds. Nor was last night. I just think if you're here you should see the sights. I'm taking you down into town and we're renting a car and driving coast road."
"I have a beautiful view right here, we don't have to go out," he replied seriously, looking directly at me.
I blushed a little and stood, unsure of how to react but I was becoming more clear about his intentions by the minute. "We're driving the coast, Linds," I told him, letting my hand softly touch his shoulder as I walked past him. "I'll pack a lunch."
"And by we're driving" he called after me, teasing, "you mean..."
I turned around and smiled at him, "I mean you, of course. Not that much has changed."
Two hours later I was loading our lunch into the back of the small convertible while Lindsey took care of the rental paperwork. I chuckled at his interaction with the older man attempting to show him where to go on the map. Eventually I intervened and assured the business owner I knew exactly where we were going, using my always improving Italian language skills and catching Lindsey completely off guard when the words rolled off of my tongue.
"When did you learn Italian," he asked, pulling the car away from the curb as I pointed to make a left on the next street.
"I've lived here for two years. I've picked up a few things," I grinned, slipping my feet out of my sandals and resting them gently out of the side of the vehicle near the rear view mirror. My sundress flittered briefly in the wind as we picked up speed, exposing more of my long legs, growing more tan than usual after an Italian summer.
Lindsey navigated the winding road with expertise, reaching over eventually to clutch my hand as we sat in a comfortable silence, taking in the views of the sea and the cliffs melding together, the lush green landscape making me feel like I was in a dream word. I didn't pull back from him, as it just felt right. I wasn't getting involved, I told myself, this is just how we've always been.
After driving for a while I instructed him to pull off of the road and we walked down a trail to a beach nestled into the cliffside. I watched a few families with children playing in the water and a few couples enjoying a relaxing day as I lead him over to a more secluded spot.
Spreading a blanket out, I placed our lunch in the center and pulled out my oversized hat, placing it atop my head to prevent a sunburn on my shoulders as I unpacked the simple meal. He wandered over to the sea as I did so, taking in the view, though I could feel him watching me as much as the waves. The wind blew gently and I held onto my hat and the blanket, and the next thing I knew he was there beside me, gently pulling up the strap of my sundress that hand slid off of my shoulder.
His touch was becoming increasingly electric the longer he was near me. We both felt it.
We spent the rest of the day lazily snacking on the beach and taking a short stroll along the waterfront. It was so comfortable and so easy. It felt as if we'd never been apart. Few words were said, but why muddle an intimate moment with forced conversation. Making our way back to the car we began the two hour return trip back to town.
We laughed about prior long drives, taken when we had almost no money, and the crazy things that we had experienced on our journey to fame- awful motel rooms crammed full of people, car trouble and mishaps that we can only find funny now. We spoke about mutual friends I hadn't seen in a while and I began to catch him up on my family, whom he had always loved.
"And my mother, she staying busy- she was over here not long ago..." I told him, trailing off to determine when that was. "Well that was, I suppose two, maybe three months ago now."
"Four months ago, Stevie," he laughed. I'd never been a great judge of time.
"How do you know that?" I questioned, peering at him over my sunglasses.
He responded so casually. "I check up on them. They've always been like family to me and I knew you weren't able to be there as often anymore."
I continued to stare at him in disbelief as the car raced down the highway.
He shrugged his shoulders. "They wouldn't tell me where you were," he continued, "so out of respect for them I stopped asking at some point. I knew that they understood I would always want that information and at the very least they'd tell me if something was wrong. And that's all I've had for a long time, Steph, so I clung to it."
I sat back in my seat, looking out the window, my fingers still intertwined with his. I was lost deep in thought; today felt just like the old days. We had reverted to the original version of us, just being ourselves with no outside factors sending us into a tailspin. No drunken fights, no media, no other women, no drugs. None of the things that had grown to be rampant in our lives prior to my departure that had pried us apart to begin with. I began to think about what our lives would be like if we had taken another route- if we had never let any of that come between us. If we had just fought a little harder for each other we could have made it in the first place, I thought. I wished.
"What's on your mind," he asked, clearly reading my facial expressions.
I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head, shaking it off before he saw the tears of what could have been welling under my sunglasses.
He pulled my hand to his lips, lightly kissing my palm. "I know, angel," he whispered, "me too."
