The Diary Project 2-Relationships

9-20-10 thru 9-21-10 You liked it?

OH MY LORD! What a week this has been! I have sooo much to write! But first things first, Thomas told me he loves me. Not luff, l-o-v-e! We pulled an all-nighter b/c I wished for it [He gave me three whishes earlier that week] & he said "And they love you." Talking about his hands, but I thought he said "And I love you." So I was quiet for a lil & asked, "Did you just say what I think you said?" And he was like, "No, I know you don't like that, I said…" Then a little while later he asked me what I was thinking about and I was like, "I'm thinking about what I thought you said 'I love you'...I liked the idea."

"You liked it?"

"Yup."

"Good, 'cause I do too…"

"Really?"

"Yes, but I know you don't like that word."

"I hate the word, not the emotion." [This is a whole other diary haha]

OMG! He said it! And then later I asked him to say it totally & he did & he was like "as long as you love me back it's okay." Yes, I told him I loved him back. We had a kinda talk about it last night & I told him that I wished I could say that telling him I loved him was a first for me, but I'd be lying & he was silent so I told him that he's the first person that I've ever truly loved. So when I tell him I love him, it's totally & completely true because love is defined by attitude & my mind is "Please Devin & make him happy & do whatever he wants."

I'm accepting him & his faults & not being selfish in our relationship/friendship...that constitutes love in my book. OH! He told me he wants to be my first kiss & me to be his. And I just melted where I lay when he said "I love you, baby...I've never said that to anyone before." OMB! Sweetest thing EVER!!!! And we're starting to talk seriously b/c last night I finally asked him what happened w/ Leigh & he told me and before that we were talking about him & having no friends & I tried to tell him that he's on most people's good sides, but all he said was, "Yeah, no one hates me, but no one likes me."

Grr that boy sometimes. He's too stubborn when it comes to them. But I won't argue w/ him b/c they're only, what? 5 teens? There's a huge world of them, and they won't be here forever. And we've decided that we'll start dating definitely in two years. But when I'm actually 20, I'll see where we both are in life & I might ask for an extra. But he keeps telling me I'm worth waiting for so I don't think an extra year will be that much to ask. If he really loves me that is...

Today was AMAZING with Thomas because it was only me & him & Ned during volunteering! And then later, for breakfast, we went somewhere together alone and oh my goodness am I in la la land over THOMAS!

-Rane C.