Once A Stranger (Nashlene)

Chapter 38

Pasensya at ngayon lang nakapag-update. Hehe.

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"It hurts so much but you are still the pain I will never give up."

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Chapter 38

"Where did he go?" tanong kong muli pero isang tipid na ngiti lang ang ginanti ni mommy sa akin.

"Sabi mo, pumunta siya dito kanina di ba?" tanong ko at tumango siya

"B-bakit hindi niya ko hinintay na magising? Why did he leave just like that?" tanong ko pero imbis na sagutin ako ay itinuro niya iyong hawak kong sulat. I slowly glance on it at hindi maiwasan ng kamay ko ang hindi manginig. Pumunta si Nash dito pero nag-iwan lang siya ng sulat. Why would he do that kung pwede namang sabihin niya iyon sa kin?

"I think you should read that letter." aniya at nagkatinginan muli sila ni daddy.

"Iwanan ka muna namin ng mommy mo, we'll just be in the garden, call us if you need something." tahimik na sabi ni daddy at pinatong iyong phone ko sa mesa. I watch them as they leave the room.

Marami pa ring tanong sa isip ko pero minabuti kong sundin na lang iyong sinabi ni mommy. Umayos ako ng upo at huminga ng malalim. Naramdaman kong mas bumuti na ang lagay ko kumpara kanina noong nagising ako.

I slowly unfold the letter. I don't know why I am feeling nervous about all of this. May parte sa akin na pumipigil na basahin iyong sulat pero nakain ako ng kuryosidad. Will this answer the questions in my mind?

Dear Sharlene,

Sorry for all the pain and trouble I caused you. Above all, Thank you because you let me create some of the best memories I had with you. I will never forget the day I met you. Please always be yourself because that is what makes you so beautiful and different from others. Always remember that you will always have a special space in my heart. There are many things that was beyond my control and I want to apologize to you, I'm sorry for being such a jerk, I hate myself from watching you cry for me. Believe me...I don't want to break your heart that way. Gusto kong punasan iyong mga luha sa pisngi mo pero naduduwag ako. Alam mo na naman siguro iyong naging dahilan kung bakit ko nagawa iyon di ba? Para iyon sa nanay ko. Her life is at stake and I can't lose her. Sorry because it is the only way I think to create a space between us. I want you to hate me at nang sa ganoon ay matutunan ko ring kalimutan ka. I failed miserably, sayo pa rin ako babalik, sayo pa rin. Nangyari ang lahat after that bar incident and I blame myself for everything that happened to you. Kung hindi sana ako nagpakalasing...kung sana hinabol kita noong umalis ka ng bar, Hindi ka sana makikidnap. Mas sinisi ko pa ang sarili ko lalo na ng malaman kong si tatay ang kumidnap sayo. Wala na kong mukhang maihaharap sayo. I am so damn ashamed of myself. And then the next thing I knew is that you risked your life for my sake. Ipinahamak kita Sharlene and I will never forgive myself for that! I don't deserve you. I put your life in danger at sa tingin ko ay ako na yata ang pinakamasama sa lahat. I badly wished that the bullet strike straight to me. I am afraid to tell you all of these personally kaya naman nang mabalitaan kong nagising ka na ay pinuntahan kita nung oras na tulog ka. I thanked God million of times dahil nagising ka and through this letter I want to say all things I can and one of those is the three words I am longing to say to you: I Love You. Maybe this lifetime isn't for us.

Love,
Nash.

A tear escaped my eye. Nanginginig kong yinakap ang sulat. Why is he doing this to me? Why is fate twisting everything between us? I don't understand kung bakit kailangan pa naming pagdaanan ito. Mahal namin ang isa't isa pero maraming complications ang nakaharang sa pagitan namin.