A/N; I go into a lot of detail about how Brenna self harms so if you are easily triggered, I reccomend skipping to the author's note at the end. This chapter is very depressing [to me anyway] don't let this throw you off, next chapter will be nicer I promise
He followed me. Harry followed me back to my dorm, but he didn't attempt to stop me.
"Hear me out," he begged, rubbing his temples as I stepped into my dorm and turned to face him, blocking the door.
"Piss off," I said to him, my voice shakier than I intended. I was on the verge of tears, and his presence wasn't helping.
"I'm not leaving until you let me talk," he shrugged.
"Go back to the girl in your room," I said scornfully, closing the door and letting out the breath I had been holding.
I slid against the door and I heard him do the same, much to my annoyance. "Why are you still here?" I asked him.
His voice came back muffled. "I told you, I'm not leaving until you hear me out."
"Guess you'll be there all night," I shrugged, going on my phone.
I went onto Tumblr, and it didn't help how I was feeling. There were so many depressing things on there that were making me sadder and sadder by the minute. I started crying at some point. Not because of Harry, I wasn't one to cry because of boys. All my life I had grown up with boys and just boys, and they were dissapointing. I thought back to when I was five, and I had attended an awards ceremony. I had won three prizes, and I had been so happy. As my face had scanned the audience for my dad, I realised he wasn't there. I thought back to when, instead of driving me to the sleepover I was attending, he bought me to the club he worked at instead, making me hide behind the bar as he did his job.
It was at this point that I decided I'd had enough. I got up, tears partially blurring my vision as I began to walk to the bathroom. I remembered Harry had my razors, so I found a packet of cigarettes. I opened the white packet, its sleek wrapping falling to the ground. My fingers found the cigarettes sitting in it, as well as my lighter. I wasn't one for smoking - I hated it. I hated the awful taste and all, but I needed it. I ran my finger down the lighter, its red paint chipping. Flicking the lighter on, I closed my eyes. The orange flame was flickering up and down, calming me.
I turned the cigarette towards the lighter and it lit straight away. Stepping into the shower and turning the water on, I made sure I stood away from the water. The water helped disguise the smell of the smoke - this helped since smoking was prohibited on campus. Bringing the cigarette to my lips, I took a shaky breath and took a drag, the toxic smoke filling my lungs. Once I had smoked almost the whole thing, I put it out on my arm.
It stung, I hadn't burnt in a while. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, my troubles melting away for a bit. I didn't stop there. I lost count of how many times I burnt myself, but after a while I ran out of cigarettes and collapsed onto my bed, falling into a deep slumber.
~*~
I woke up, and my arm felt itchy. There were red marks all over my arm, all forming a red 'O' shape. I glanced at my phone. It was eight. I had slept for nine hours. Memories of last night came flooding in and I remembered Harry at the door. I stood up quickly and walked over to the door, to see if he had meant what he had said.
I opened the door and sighed in dissapointment. He wasn't here. I was just about to turn back when something caught my eye. I turned my head to left and saw a figure sat down, their head resting on their knees.
"Harry?" I asked, surprisement evident in my voice.
Sure enough, Harry lifted his head, looking at me. He had a lazy look in his eyes and he blinked away the slip. I had woken him up. He stood up and looked at me, running a hand through his hair.
"You stayed." I pointed out, as if it wasn't obvious.
"I told you, I'm not going to-"
He stopped suddenly and his sleepy eyes hardened.
"What?" I asked in confusement.
He walked over to me, and I took a step back, slightly scared. He grabbed my hand and examined the burns.
"You hurt yourself," he commented stifly.
"You can't expect me to stop just because you to-"
"Was it because of me?" He asked, looking at me. His jaw was tense but his eyes were sad.
"N-no," I said, a little shaken by the way he was reacting. "Well, partially. But I wasn't feeling too good and I just..."
"You could've asked me for help."
"You?" I scoffed.
"I was outside your door," he said, dropping my arm. "I was outside your door," he repeated rubbing his eyes.
"Harry..."
"I was outside your God damn door, I could've stopped you."
"No, you couldn't have," I was trying to calm him down, he was getting angry at himself.
He swore loudly and I pushed him into my room, not wanting to wake anyone up. He punched the wall in frustration and swore again, muttering a string of profanities under his breath. I was a little scared, but I didn't want him to blame himself. I stepped closer to him, resting my hand on his arm.
"Stop it," I ordered. "Calm down."
He tensed at my touch, and turned to look at me. "Get your hand off."
"No, not until you calm down." I wasn't afraid of him.
"I'll hurt you," he warned, his eyes avoiding mine. I knew he wouldn't.
"Go on," I challenged.
He sighed in resignation and looked at my arms again. "I should've known you wouldn't last long."
"Why do you care so much about if I hurt myself or not?!" I asked, irritated at his last comment.
"Wanna know why I care? Because I lost a best friend to self harm, and I don't want to lose you either!"
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A/N: THIS IS SO DEPRESSING (FOR ME) I PROMISE ITLL GET NICER FROM HERE AND NEXT CHAPTER YOU'LL LEARN MORE ABOUT BOTH BRENNA AND HARRY
AND IT WONT BE SO SAD OR SUCKISH BECAUSE THIS SUCKED
i am going through severe writers block :/
ON ANOTHER NOTE OH MY GOD 1000 READS JIOFJDIOJGIOFJI IM SO HAPPY I LOVE YOU ALL A LOT
okay
once again i promise next chapter won't be so sad
or suckish
i love you all soooo much :)
xoxo
YOU ARE READING
Broken
Fanfiction"When something is broken, you can't fix it. But you can make it better. All it needs is love, care and attention." Broken. That's what Brenna was. With no family, and no money, it was a good thing she was smart. She had a scholarship for college a...
