Fighting With Fear-KOTLC Fanfic

Reflections

Rowan's POV

I wake up to sunlight peeking through the crack where the black drapes don't quite meet. I rub my eyes and stare at the ceiling for a minute, trying to remember why today is important. I groan when I realize what's happening today. The Ball and talking to Alden. I pray he will forget about last night. I highly doubt it though. I throw off my covers and stumble out of bed. I open the door to the bathroom and walk in. I grab my hair-tie from the counter and pull my hair back in a simple side ponytail, the end hanging over my shoulder. I splash water on my face and pat it dry with a towel. After that I stare into the mirror, smiling a little when I remember my and Fitz's conversation last night.

'W-well you're p-pretty.' he said. I lean in closer to my reflection and stare at my face. I never considered myself pretty. Not once. I mean, yeah, my mom told me I looked cute once in a while but... never pretty. I sigh and rub my face. Jake and Fitz are so confusing. Shaking my head I get out my toothbrush and brush my teeth. I rinse my toothbrush off after a couple minutes of cleaning my teeth. I head out and shuffle through the clothes in the closet. I finally pick out black legging and a maroon oversized sweater. This time I decide to wear my combat boots. I slip my dagger out before I put on my right boot. I lace it up and place my dagger back in. After putting on the left I head out, closing my door behind me.

I stop before I descend the stairs and peek down and around the huge railing. Biana and Fitz were not down there yet, but a blonde-haired elf was. She turns her head slightly and I catch a glimpse of brown. Sophie. I haven't really talked to her a lot since I got here. I get the feeling she doesn't like me either. I sigh and make my way down the stairs. Sophie turns all the way and smiles at me, and I give her one back.

"Hey," she says, offering a small wave.

" Hi." I go to sit by her. I feel her watch me as I situate myself. My shoulder is getting better so I don't have to wear a bandage anymore. I touch it and feel through my shirt the newly-formed scar. I have a feeling that whatever Elwin gives me, this is one injury that will never heal.

"I hope you don't mind, Della, but I invited Dex and Keefe to come over to play basequest," Sophie says turning her attention back to Della.

"Not at all, dear. I think that's a wonderful idea. Maybe Rowan can play, too." Della smiles and glances at me and I force a smile back.

The last time I played basequest it was with Jake, Aimer, Kayla, and Kelsia, one of the girls who gave her life for the Neverseen. I suck in my breath when I remember her lifeless body. And the blood. So much blood. I feel my heart beat faster as the memories flash by in my brain.

"Rowan. Rowan, you okay?" I feel someone shake my shoulder and I open my eyes to see brown ones. Concern is evident in Sophie's eyes.

I nod my head and let go of the breath I was holding.

"I'm fine." I get up off the stool and head to the front door. "I just need some fresh air."

I open the door right when Dex knocks. I barely dodge his fist.

"Woah there, buddy," I say, standing upright again.

Dex blushes. "S-sorry," he stammers.

Now that I get a closer look at him, I realize he was the one I caught staring at me at the store. I shake my head and squeeze past him. As I walk away I hear him ask Sophie where I was going. I smile a little and start to jog away. The memories were subsiding quicker than I thought they would. I couldn't stand to think about Kelsia right now. I find a lake behind Everglen and I make my way towards it. I stop before my toes could touch the water, images of drowning crashing into my head. To distract myself from the scenarios in my head, I stare at my reflection, perfect in the still water. I bend down and stick one finger in the water. I straighten and ignore my pounding heart. Now my reflection is broken, just like me. My smile was watery as I back away till I was a safe distance from the crystal blue water.

I sit down on the sand and pull my knees up to my chest. Even though I try not to, my mind wanders to thoughts about Kelsia. She was one of my best friends. She always knew what I needed and always made me laugh. I remember the way her black hair was always up in a ponytail. And the way her aquamarine eyes held a glint of mischief in them. She didn't deserve to die. I close my eyes and force the tears back. I stand up and head back to the house. I didn't get very far when I heard laughing.

I stop and turn right towards the noise. I walk quietly, avoiding sticks and leaves. I reach the source of the laughing and find Fitz, Biana, Dex, Keefe, and Sophie playing basequest. Or ending, because Biana is holding a blue flag. She catches me staring and abruptly stops giggling. The others laughter fades away and they turns toward me.

"Uh, hi." I give and awkward wave and smile.

"Hey, Rowan! I was-I mean- we were wondering where you were," Fitz announces, walking to me. The others follow him.

"Do you want to play with us? You look like you would do well." Keefe asks, winking at me. I blush and shake my head.

"I don't really play basequest. Not since-" I cut myself off before I reveal Kelsia.

"Not since what?" Keefe takes a step towards me and I lock eyes with him.

"U-uh you know, not since..."

"Not since she played with Biana and me," Fitz finishes for me.

"What?" Keefe and everyone else except Fitz looks confused.

"I'm going inside," I say quickly. I shoot Fitz a thankful look and start to walk away.

"I'll come with you." Fitz walks in step with me.

"What about our game?" Biana yells after us.

"Play without me!" Fitz shouted back.

I hear Biana huff and grumble something unintelligible. I glance back and see the brunette glaring at me with her teal eyes. I give her one back and turn around. But before I could take another step, I feel another mind enter mine. Anger suddenly courses through my veins and I whip around. Sophie has her eyes closed and she's standing behind Keefe. I stalk toward her and jerk her shoulder. She opens her eyes in surprise and looks to me.

"You have no right to read my mind. I know your supposed to be the savior of the world but you. Have. No. Right," I growl.

I don't know why I'm so angry at something so little but I just can't stop.

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have and it's against the law but-"

"But you shouldn't have," I finish for her.

"Come on, Rowan. Calm down," Fitz soothes.

I feel myself relax and my thoughts slowing down. I sigh and look at Sophie. She has a little bit of fear in her eyes. I close my eyes and all I think of is I just ruined any type of friendship with Sophie Foster.