Status: On Tour With 1D

My Attempt At Being A Stand-up Comedian

In headline news what was thought to an extinct species has suddenly appeared again. The fabled update seems to be back and hopefully the population of this species will continue to improve. And now we cut to Ashlyn who will be presenting the range of excuses for the lateness of this update.

"Thank you Kate. This time our excuses are kickboxing, haunted house, work, two drama weeks (with another starting in two weeks time), late nights rigging lights, school internals, a best friend moved away, homework, written work for drama, studying, laziness, writer's block and finally, mock exams. I'm Ashlyn and I will see you next time! P.s, Kate says sorry and you may now proceed to call her mean names."

Also, Kate has decided that she won't be writing another story after this one is done; she'll be writing three! The titles are Dancing in the Rain, Screaming with the Thunder and Running with the Lightning. She will post the blurb for the first book as soon as she finishes it.

ZERRIE IS GETTING MARRIED!!!! THIS IS ONE OF MY DREAMS!!!! AN OTP GETTING MARRIED!!!! CAN MY LIFE GET ANY BETTER?!?!?!

"I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE 221 FANS!!! YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!"

A short note for TheOnlyTruth. Wattpad isn't letting me start a conversation with anyone unless they message me first. So message me your idea and if I like it I'll add it. Also, I don't currently have a unicorn so could you please mail me one, thank very much!

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"Please! You're our only hope, please just do it!"

"Why me?! It's not my fault their car broke down!"

"Because everyone else refuses to!"

"Well add another to that list!"

"Come on, please!"

"No."

"Please!"

"No!"

"Please!"

"NO!"

"Pretty please with sprinkles and sugar and every other ice cream topping on top?!"

"How many times do I have to say it?! NO!!"

"I'm begging you! I will do anything! Anything!"

"...Anything?"

"Anything."

"......Fine."

"Thank you so much, you don't know what this means!"

"Can it Liam," I said, cutting him off. "I am making sure you keep that promise! You are bound by the universal laws of promises, make sure you remember that."

He nodded quickly. "Yes yes, of course!"

I sighed and looked at the stage hand who had been watching our argument nervously for the whole time. "Give me the mic," I said, holding out my hand. He quickly gave me one and I made my way to the side of the stage where I could hear what sounded like a million fan girls screaming.

"I swear Liam if I get pelted by tomatoes I'm blaming you!" I threatened.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine!" he assured me. I took one final breath before walking out onto the stage.

The noise was deafening. It was like having trumpets being blown right next to you during a bagpipe parade during a thunderstorm while bombs were being dropped and exploding on the ground. "Jesus!" I shouted, completely forgetting that the mic was on. All the girls in the stadium jumped and became quiet, staring at me.