AWARE (After Allegiant)

Epilogue

I don't know what to do. I'm currently sitting on the toilet with a pregnancy test in my hands. I can't actually tell if it's positive or negative because of how badly I'm shaking.

I remember the night like it was yesterday. We both agreed that we wouldn't mind having a baby right now. He said that if we have one or not he's fine with it, which, I was over the moon with. So we decided to ditch using protection, I wasn't scared and I don't think he was either.

A few weeks after Tobias passed I fell ill. I thought I just had a virus but when it didn't fade away for a month, I got worried. Naturally, Christina was the first one I called. She made me come with her to the drugstore and buy two boxes of pregnancy tests.

I was confused as to why I needed two but it was when I looked at Christina did I realize that one was for her. We squealed like little girls and jumped around, we looked crazy but we didn't care. It was then that I think I decided to stop being sad and just get on with my life.

Tobias wouldn't have wanted me to be sad, so I won't. It's that simple.

After Tobias passed away I thought about the Revival Serum. I'm not sure if I should, I don't know if that's what he would've wanted but, I've decided that if this pregnancy test reads positive and it's confirmed by a doctor, I might. Might.

The last few months has been tough. I haven't cried since the night at the hospital. I've wanted to cry, but the tears never come. My theory is because there is no one here to comfort me. So crying would be useless since all it will do is make me feel worse.

Recently though, my want to cry has gone down considerably. I'd almost say that I'm... happy.

My shaking has considerably slowed down now which makes the test a lot easier to read. I read the directions before and it said a small pink line means negative and a small pink plus sign means positive.

I try to control my shaking hands as best I can and read the test. All I see is,

+

A plus! I'm pregnant! With Tobias baby, I'm going to be a Mum, Tobias will be a Dad, I'm going to have family. Immediately, I want to run out of the bathroom and give Tobias the biggest hug in the world. He would've be sitting on the couch watching the T.V and then he would've seen my big smile and then his small smile would make it's way onto his lips. He would've pulled me into a sweet embrace, he'd hug me, he'd kiss me. Tobias would've been so happy.

I'm so happy.

Although Tobias isn't here right now, I feel his presence. He's smiling right now and he's telling me how much he loves me, how proud he is of me.

+++

2 months later

The doctor confirmed my pregnancy about a month and a half ago. She told me that I'm four months pregnant and that I'll be able to find out the gender in a couple of days. I've booked the appointment to be on Friday, it's Monday today.

I did that because Caleb's been working on a new batch of Revival Serum, it's meant to be a lot better and not have as many side effects. The side effects of my version of the Revival Serum only became apparent to me about 5 months ago after about 6 months being alive, so it's not too bad.

I had difficulty breathing, muscle pain and migraines. That's all. Apparently, this 'new and improved' serum doesn't have that. Although Caleb said Tobias might experience nausea in the first few weeks but that's it.

While I sit down on the chair beside Tobias I feel the familiar kick of my baby. It's not painful, it's kinda comforting. I can't wait for Tobias to feel the baby kick, I'll put his hand on my stomach and he'll smile. It'll be perfect.

Christina and Will, Zeke and Shauna, Uriah and Marlene, Lynn and Cara are here too. Will has his arm around Christina protectively and Christina's hand is on her belly. She's 25 weeks into her pregnancy whereas I'm only 20 weeks in. She's not far ahead though. Did I tell you about Cara and Caleb's baby? Cara is 34 weeks in, she's really close to her due date now. Only about a month to go.

"Right." Caleb finally speaks up after what feels like years of preparing. "Let's do this."

He picks up the syringe filled with a light blue-ish green liquid and injects it into Tobias arm. Seconds pass and nothing happens.

Then minutes.

Caleb keeps on checking his watch in anticipation. I just sit beside him patiently. It didn't take me this long but I know Tobias will come through.

All of a sudden I see the familiar rise and fall of his chest. I smile like I've never done before, silent tears of joy fall down my cheeks.

He made it.

He's going to find out the gender of the baby with me

He's going to raise our child with me.

He's going to do so much.