I Don't Love You, I Hate You |BL|

2~ The Other Brother Is Better

His eyes searched the room, and then he locked his gaze on me. I stood up as he walked towards me. His arms reaching out and grabbing my shoulders as he pushed me against the post of the bed.

"So you really did move in?" He gritted through his teeth; his voice strong and filled with hatred. Was he ever happy?

"Haden!" a voice came from behind Haden; the man in question loosened his grip on me. "You're back," The mysterious voice spoke.

"Ash! What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I wanted to meet your fiancé," Ash said, cocking his head and looking at me. His eyes searched me, what for I didn't know, and then focused back on Haden. "A man." He stated simply. "Mom and Dad chose a man for you to marry. Isn't that a bit funny?" He said mockingly.

"Shut up," Haden responded and walked out the door, leaving his brother and me in the same room alone. I studied him. He was as beautiful as his brother, but he was lacking something. Haden had something that his brother didn't. Yet you could see a resemblance between them, his eyes, like Haden's managed to paralyse me. A shiver ran down my back. What was that about.

It has been a few days since that whole ordeal with Haden and the man I later found out to be his brother.

"Hi there, Derek," Ash said from behind me, his voice almost making me jump out of my skin.

I returned the book I had in my hand to the shelf I had got it from and turned around to face Ash. His face was as calm and inviting as ever but his eyes told a different story.

In the past few days I'd begun to wish that the one I was forcibly engaged to was Ash and not Haden. Haden was a bastard. It was true that he didn't care; I saw no reason why he should care. But strangely, I wanted him to. I really wanted him to care. But it was too much to ask for.

"Hey," I said, and turned to face the bookshelf again.

"Why do you put up with it?" Ash asked. Straight to the point. I could hear his footsteps getting closer to me.

"Because...What else can I do?" I ran my fingers over the spines of the books, ignoring Ash's breath on my neck. He's been doing this a lot lately; standing too close to me, speaking too softly to me. I couldn't decipher it.

"You could find someone better," he whispered in a low, intoxicating voice that made the hairs on my arm stand up. My heart skipped a beat and I stood frozen in place. What are you talking about? I wanted to say, but held my tongue and I let out a nervous laugh and turned around instead.

I don't know why, but it caught me by surprise when I saw him standing so close to me. I knew that he was standing close before, I could feel his warm breath on my neck, but it still caught me off guard. A part of me never expected him to be standing this close. He lowered himself, reducing the space between us. I wanted to shrink into myself.

"Could it be that you like Haden?" He asked, a hint of mockery in his voice. I didn't like it.

Did I like Haden?

No. No way.

"Or could it be that, you like me?" He suggested.

Those words made me want to sink into my shoes and vanish. My heart began to race faster and faster to the point where I was sure- positive- that Ash could hear it. To my surprise, he chuckled playfully.

"Ok, forget what I just said. Um.....you're new to this part of the city, aren't you?" He said, changing the topic; and I was glad for that, "Why don't I show you around?"

I nodded, and he grabbed my arm. I flinched at his touch. He dragged me out to his car and before what had happened could even settle into my mind I was in his car and we were already far from the house. I watched shops and people pass by as the car sped through the busy streets.

The car finally came to a stop at the side of a dark street that was lit only by the light of beautiful and big lanterns. As I got out, cold wind blew past me. I shivered in my skin and wished I had something to wrap around myself. But it was all soon forgotten when I looked around. My eyes opened wider as I looked around in amazement. Beautiful. Everywhere I looked, everything appeared so romantically beautiful. It could have been the scenery, or the warm presence behind me; but ever it was it made me really happy.

"It's not always like this. Just during this month. Um, it's a light festival," he said, approaching me.

"Wow!" I exclaimed, lost for words.

"Come on. Let's look around."

As we walked down the foot path I followed closely behind him. He stopped and turned around, smiling. "Let's go in here," he pointed. My eyes followed to the place he was pointing. Beyond giant metal gates were thousands of lights and small stalls. People laughed and walked past them, carrying bags filled with small, playful items, candy, and prizes. The place was enveloped by an uplifting atmosphere. For a moment I wished I could be there forever.

I looked up at Ash, whose smile was even wider than before. We passed small tents from which people called out to us to come and play their games, the smell of candy-apple filling the air. I couldn't resist. I wanted one, and Ash, as if he knew what I was craving, bought me one. It was all romantic. Too romantic. We laughed as we spoke and walked around the huge oval, looking at all the exciting small events going on in each tent. He made me feel so happy, so like myself.

I looked up at his face. I wish it was this brother. Why couldn't it have been him instead of Haden?

By the time we got back to the Manor it was already half past eleven, and what Ash and I had done till then was somewhat of a mystery. Time had passed us by so fast. All I knew was that I had had the most fun today. I'll never forget today.

We sat down in the library, still talking about how fun today had been. One of the maids brought out some tea and then it was just him and I, alone, in the quiet library. Ash stood up and walked to the window, looking out.

"It's a full moon." He noted nonchalantly.

I walked up to him and looked through the same window at the full moon.

"I should get going," I said, I didn't want to. I didn't want the feeling to end. But all good things must come to an end. I took steps to walk away, but Ash grabbed my arm from behind and pulled me close to him, making my heart race faster than before. With wide eyes I stared at his face, it was outlined by the bright moonlight and I wanted to trace it with the tips of my fingers.

"My brother doesn't deserve you," he said. His voice sounded hurt, as if he was in pain. He looked at me with eyes that seemed to pierce right into my soul. My heart paused for a second then caught its fast pace.

"W-What are yo-?"

"You should have been mine," he said, his voice almost shaking. He dug his head into the crease of my neck, and I could feel his warm breath on my skin. I stood still, not moving. After several minutes, he raised his head and leaned into mine; nothing but a thin wall of air between our faces, our lips. He was going to kiss me. He leaned in closer, so close that I could almost feel his lips on mine, and could smell his minty breath on my lips.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, pulling back and releasing his tight grip on my arm. He walked out the door without another word, leaving me in the moonlight pouring in through the window with my heart aching. I felt like crying.

What was going on?