After 2

Chapter 179.

"It's not going to be that way anymore, we can get through this. We've gotten through worse and I know now how quickly I can lose you. I took you for granted and I know that. I'm only asking for one more chance." I take her face between my hands.

"It's not that simple." She tells me, her bottom lip begins to quiver and I'm still trying to stop my tears.

"It's not supposed to be simple."

"It's not supposed to be this hard either." She begins to cry with me.

"Yes, yes it is. It will never be easy with us, we are who we are but it won't always be this hard. We just have to learn to talk to each other without fighting every time. If we would have been able to have a conversation about the future it wouldn't have turned into this big fucking mess."

"I tried but you wouldn't have it." She reminds me.

"I know." I sigh.

"I am a mess without you Tessa, I'm nothing. I can't eat, sleep, or even breathe. I have been crying for days straight and you know I don't cry. I just.. I need you." My voice is broken and cracking and I sound like a fucking idiot.

"Stand up." She hooks her arm under mine to try to pull me up.

Once I'm on my feet I stand directly in front of her. My breath is ragged and it's hard to breathe in here with the steam filling every inch of the bathroom.

Her eyes pour into mine as she takes in my confession. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm crying now she wouldn't believe me. I know she is battling with herself, I can tell by the look in her eyes.

"I don't know if I can, we keep doing this over and over. I don't know if I can set myself up for it again.  I'm sorry." She looks down at the ground.

"Hey, look at me." I plead and tilt her head up to look at me.

"I need to get in the shower, I'm going to be late."

I capture a single tear from just below her eye and nod.

I know that I have put her through hell and no one in their right mind would take me back again after the bet, the lies, and my constant need to fuck everything up. She's not like anyone else though, she loves unconditionally and she puts everything she has into loving me, even now when she's turning me away I know she loves me.

"Just think about it, okay?" I ask her.

I will give her space to think about it but I'm not going to give up on her, I need her too fucking much.

"Please?" I say when she doesn't respond.

"Okay." Tessa quietly agrees and my heart leaps.

"I'll show you, I will show you how much I love you and that this can work. Just don't give up on me yet, okay?" I wrap my hand around the door knob.

She bites down on her bottom lip and I let go of the knob to close the small space between us. When I reach her she looks up with cautious eyes. I want to kiss her lips again, to feel her arms wrapped around me, but instead I plant a single kiss on her cheek and step away from her.

"Okay." She repeats and I head out of the door.

It takes every bit of self discipline I posses to walk out of the bathroom, especially when I turn around and she's pulling the t-shirt over her head to expose her creamy skin that I haven't laid eyes on in what seems like years.

I close the door behind me and lean against the frame closing my eyes to stop myself from crying again. Fuck.

At least she said she would think about it. She seemed so apprehensive though, like it pained her to think of being with me again, not that I can blame her.