"Do you like the chicken?" Tessa asks Smith and he nods.
"It's good." I tell her to soften the blow of the kid still not wanting to speak to her.
She gives me an appreciative smile but doesn't meet my eyes.
The rest of the meal is eaten in silence.
While Tessa cleans up the kitchen I head back into the living room, I can hear the small footsteps following me.
"Can I help you?" I ask him and plop down on the couch.
"No." He shrugs, turning his attention to the television.
"Okay then..." There is literally nothing on tonight.
"Is my dad going to die?" The small voice next to me asks.
"My dad, will he be dead?" Smith asks.
"No, he is just sick with food poisoning or something."
"My mom was sick and she's dead." He says, making me choke on my own breath.
"Erm...yeah. That was different."
Christ he asks so many questions. I want to call for Tess but something about the worried expression on his face stops me. He won't even speak to her so I don't think he would want me to bring her in here.
"Your dad is just a little sick.. and your mum was really sick. Your dad will be fine."
"Are you lying?" He speaks well beyond his years, sort of the way I always have.
I suppose that is what happens when you are forced to grow up too quickly.
"No, I would tell you if your dad was going to die." I say and mean it.
"You would?" His bright eyes are shining and I am terrified that he may cry. I have no fucking idea what I would do if he cried right now. Run. I would run into the other room and hide behind Tessa.
"Yep. Now lets talk about something a little less morbid."
"Something that's twisted and fucked up." I explain.
"Bad word." He scolds me.
"It's okay for me to say because I am an adult."
"Still a bad word."
"You said two of them earlier, I could tell your dad on you." I threaten.
"I will tell your pretty girl on you." He counters and I can't help but laugh.
"Okay, you win." I give in.
"Smith, do you want to come in here with me?" Tessa peers around the corner once more to ask him.
"Can I stay with Harry?" He looks at me.
"I don't.." She begins but I interrupt.
"Fine." I sigh and hand the kid the remote.
I watch as Smith settles in on the couch, scooting slightly closer to Harry. Harry looks at him with caution but doesn't stop him or say anything about his close proximity. It is ironic that Smith seems to like Harry when Harry clearly despises children, Smith may or may not be included in that.
"Never." He said to him.
Never. He never plans on having a future with me. I knew this but it still hurts me to hear him say it, especially the cold and confident way he said it. He could have softened the blow, even just a little. I don't want to be married right now obviously, not for years but it's the idea that it isn't a possibility hurts me, a lot. He says that he wants to be with me forever but yet he doesn't want to be married? Are we supposed to just be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' forever? Am I okay with never having children? Will he love me enough to make this all okay, despite the future I had always planned for myself?