Chapter 103.

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(A few quick things, artifices101 has made a trailer for After 2, the video is on the side :) second, thanks again for voting, third follow me on instagram (imaginator1d) if you want to see edits or know when I am updating, and lastly I have gotten a lot of comments about Tessa getting pregnant and I can assure you that wont happen hah, I want to keep this as realistic as possible so that's just not happening lol. I think poor Tessa is going through enough:) Ily all so much!! xo)

"I feel terrible about the wall, I offered to fix it but Ken refuses to let me." I tell Landon as I brush out my wet hair. The shower I just took didn't help me relax like I had hoped. Nothing seems to calm the steady ache inside of me. It seems infinite.

"Don't worry about that. You have a lot going on." Landon frowns and rubs his hand across my back.

"I can't comprehend how my life came to this, how did I get to this point. Three months ago I had everything figured out, everything made sense. I had Noah, who would never do something like this, I was close with my mother and I had this idea of how my life would be and now I have nothing. Literally, nothing. I don't even know if I should go to Vance anymore because Hardin will either come there or he will convince Mr. Vance to fire me just because he can." At least the tears have stopped.

"He messed up everything, he really did. He had nothing to lose and I did, I let him take everything from me. My life before him was so simple and decided, now after him.. it's just ..after."

"You can't give up your internship, he has taken enough from you. Don't let him take that, please." Landon advises.

"The good thing about this "after" life without him is that you can make it whatever you please, you can start all over." He tries to encourage me.

"Just please listen to me about the internship." He begs.

I know he is right but it isn't that simple. Everything in my life is tied to Hardin now, even the paint on my damn car. He somehow became the string that held everything in my life together and in his absence I am left with the rubble that once was my life.

"I'll let you get some rest." Landon says and hugs me before walking towards the door.

"Do you think this will ever stop?' I ask and he turns around.

"What?"

"The pain?" My voice almost a whisper.

"I don't know.. I would like to think it will though." He answers and gives me his most comforting half smile, half frown.

I know if it will or not either, but if it doesn't, I know I won't survive it.

....

I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling until my alarm goes off at five. I have to leave an hour early so I can go buy clothes and makeup to wear. I also have to find somewhere to brush my teeth, that should be fun. I have no idea how I am going to get my things from the..Hardin's apartment. Right now I feel like it would be easier to just leave everything there and buy all new things just so I don't have to face him.

I force myself out of bed and to my car, leaving a note thanking Ken and Karen and apologizing again for the hole Hardin put in their wall.

I cringe at my reflection in my rear view, my eyes are still bloodshot and rimmed with dark circles. I will need more makeup than I thought. I go to Walmart, the only store open nearby at this hour and buy everything I need. I don't have the strength or the energy to make a real effort in my appearance.

When I arrive at Vance, Kimberly gasps when she sees me. I try to muster a smile for her but she jumps up from her desk.

"Are you okay?" She asks frantically.

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