Our Little Infinity

Please

"where have you been!? I came over to check on you for Asp-" he paused. "oh shit." His eyes widened as he grabbed his phone and held it to his ear. "Aspen I found her." Ross told him. My eyes widened as I shook my head. I was only gone for a half an hour. Ross must have arrived here shortly after I left. "yeah, yeah I know. yeah Miracle's with her. I think they went on a walk?" He looked at me asking. I rolled my eyes and nodded. "yeah they went on a walk. okay, uh huh. okay." He muttered before hanging up. He then gave me a fake smile.

"just saying. you over react." I clicked my tongue before pushing Miracle to the porch and clicking the carriage off the stroller, folding it and setting it back where it was.

"I'm sorry." Ross apologized while following me in the door. I picked Miracle up from her seat and held her in my arms while I went to sat down. "I just get really worried with everything that has happened..." I nodded.

"I know." I responded while holding the bottle to Miracle's lips. As she looked up at me with her innocent baby blue eyes and took the bottle between her lips I smiled, before looking back at Ross.

"d-do you remember..." Ross paused and wet his lips before continuing. "when we... were going to be parent's?..." He sighed looking at his hands.

"I was just thinking about that down at the park." I honestly told him.

"you were?" I nodded.

"it was sad, but what happened was meant to. We weren't ready to become parents. We've never been. I mean look where we ended up?" I shrugged, looking into his sad eyes.

"I know..." He closed his eyes before taking a deep breathe. I stood up after rocking Miracle back to sleep and went upstairs to put her in her crib. Once I came back I sat back down on the large sofa and looked at Ross. He had his face turned away from me but I could still see the tears falling from his hazel eyes. My heart broke a little as I stood and walked to the love seat, sitting down beside him.

"Ross." I sighed, grabbing his hand lightly and making him turn to me. His face was a light pink as he cried on, trying to hide it from me. "hey, hey it's alright..." I gulped and wiped his tears away with my sleeve.

"no it's not. I was so, so stupid. I let you, a perfect, beautiful, loving woman go. I pushed you away from me and I hate myself for it. I love you more than anything and yet I was to blind to see you drifting away from me. I ruined us, I ruined you for so long. I'm happy, you're happy. I love seeing you smile and be the way you are but it just hurts so damn much to see you this happy without me. Aspen's great, and he will take great care of you and Miracle, and love you and put you both first. I-I just wish it was me. It could of been me. I pushed you to love someone else and now that you do I'm more broken then ever. I was so stupid. I can't believe I let you go... I'm so, so sorry." He covered his face before crying harder. My heart seemed to break more. I wanted to hug him and tell him I loved him still, but I couldn't. I couldn't do that, for Aspen. For Miracle. It hurt me to see him so... broken...

"Ross." I closed my eyes and gulped. He looked up at me and I took his hand again. It felt good to make skin contact with him, but wrong. "I know. It took a long time for me to truly get over you... and even then..." I gulped again. "I'm still not. but that's not stopping me from loving and having what I do. I still love you, and always will. But I love him too, I've given him my life, I have a child with him Ross. I need him like you need me." He nodded, and I wiped his tears away once more.

"c-can I ask you something?..." He stuttered, looking into my eyes. I nodded. "Can I have..." he gulped. "one last kiss?" My breath caught in my throat. He must have known I couldn't do that. I wanted it, but I couldn't. "p-please..." His lip quivered as he neared crying again.

"Ross..." I barely could speak. I was stuck, what do I do? I wanted to kiss him one last time... but I didn't because Aspen... "I-I can't..." Tears flooded to my eyes and I immediately tried to blink them away.

"just one more. Please Skylar, I'm begging you. I promise to move on afterwards. I just... i just need this..." He murmured and looked at me with hurtful eyes. I didn't want to hurt him, no matter how many times he's hurt me I didn't want to do that to him. I still did love Ross. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before nodding. He didn't wait a second. His lips were on mine and it felt so right... but so very wrong. His hands cupped my face and no matter how much I knew I needed to pull away I didn't. It felt good, pure. The tingle in my lips, and the butterflies in my stomach erupted and even though in that moment I had thought this was the right thing to do, in the next moment, I had deeply regret it.

"Sky-lar" I heard a voice choke by the front door. My heart stopped as my eyes flew open and I pushed my palms into Ross' chest.