My Brothers Bestfriend (NARRY AU)

3.9 | Because your Human too

Sorry it took me seven hours to update, I was cleaning my apartment :)
Trigger warning down below,
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Harry
One cut, two cut, three cut. It only happened once and I feel so ashamed of my actions. But it felt so good, it lets all the anger I'm holding on myself out.
I am no longer mad at Niall, I'm mad at myself for thinking that a nice lad like Niall would ever fall for a lad like me.
It was all my fault, he just didn't think I was good enough so he had to go and kiss Rose. I still don't like her, she will always be the good enough one. The one that is accepted by Niall's family, the one that has blonde hair and well a vagina.
I told myself that I shouldn't do it again and I have to be very aware of who's home because my mom thinks I'm depressed so I always go out to do it in the bush and sit there and cry for like a good hour. So she thinks I'm out at Leslie's or even Louis'.
Yes, weird. Louis has been surprisingly comforting this past month and has always been the one I went to go talk to.
No ones talks to Niall, and I tell them to but they don't. They're mad at him more than I am. I did kind of deserved what u got, I just wasn't good enough.
I sat in business one of the two classes I had with him.
He always starred at me, I could feel his eyes burn into mine probably laughing at me. It hurt, he was probably only starring to make fun of me and that just made me want to hurt myself again.
I was on the verge of tears sitting here. I couldn't suffocate myself sitting here any longer. I needed a breather, I needed to use the bathroom.
I raised my hand, as the teacher then looked at me. Her weak smile mimicking mine. She could see that I was crying as she nodded her head.
I stood up and left the classroom in a hurry as I rush out of the door. I throw the hoodie over my head as I make my way to the library, the bathroom is too social. The library would be safe and no one would be able to find me there.
No one ever did try looking for me half the time.
As I made my way into the library it's completely dead in here only a couple students sat at the tables studying.
I make my way to the very back of the library, as I sink to the ground and let out the cries that I had a hard time trying to keep in. It was such an agony pain that I held so tight in my chest.
At this moment I felt my heart breaking. Niall ruined me.
I slide the silver blade from my shoes that was wrapped in a paper towel. When I brought my shirt up, showing the recent cuts that scabbed on my lower abdomen.
I put pressure down on the blade as it slit my abdomen. Tears falling freely down my cheek.
"Your not worth it Harry," I replay in my head. I slit again, and again, and again. The pain released any worries that I just had going on. I didn't have any band aids on me, but I had a little piece of paper towel that I held on the cuts that I just relished into my skin. My own doings.
I held my the paper towel there as it stung and I hissed at the pain. It only made me feel more relieved.
I heard a scoff in front of me and I froze. I didn't want to look up to who it was. But I knew who it was, and he just had to make sure I was alright.
"Harry what are you doing?" He choked. I played with the hem of my shirt as I kept my hand steady on my lower abdomen.
"Go away," I said sternly. But I could only feel him coming closer towards me. Why did he have to act like he cared?
"No Harry, your hurting. Let me get you to the school nurse, she'll call your mum." He reasoned.
I looked up to meet his eyes, his beautiful blue crystal eyes that I once called home. I didn't recognize them the way I used to look into them. His eyes were full and filled with bitterness.
"I don't want her to call my mom." I said sternly breaking the eye contact and bringing my feet close to my chest.
"Well let me help you," he came closer towards me as he sat down on my right.
"I don't want your help, Niall." Saying his name for the first time in forever brought more tears to my eyes and more aching in my heart. Seeing him face to face for the first time in a long while felt too foreign, just like when I first started tutoring him.
Fuck all that time wasting my time helping him. It really made me want to slit my stomach again.
"Please Harry," he used my names three times it seemed like it didn't influence him in any way.
"Why should I let you help me? You hurt me." I state and turn away from him.
"Fuck," he groans. "I can't believe I let this happen. It's all my fault."
I turn towards him with a sour look, as he has tears brimming in his eyes.
"Why are you crying?" I ask, it angered me that he felt the need to cry.
"Because Harry!" He shouted. "It's all my fault, if I wasn't so intoxicated and if I wasn't under the influence than I wouldn't have kissed her back. Then I would still have you in my arms, I wouldn't cry myself to sleep every night, and I wouldn't be so goddam lonely. And most of all, you wouldn't hurt yourself. It's all my fault and I'm sorry."
I stare at him not knowing really what to do or what to tell him. So I wrap one around him, I knew I'd regret this but he was hurting just as bad as me.
"What are you doing Harry?" He looks towards me. "Please don't pity me or comfort me. I did this all, I ruined us. What we could have been."
He was crying and all I did was hold him, this didn't mean anything. I was just comforting him like he tried to do with me.
After a while he finally settled down and was breathing fiercely.
"Harry why are you so nice? I don't deserve it," he murmurs.
"Because your human too."
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3 votes & 1 comment
And I'll update again:)