My Brothers Bestfriend (NARRY AU)

0.3 | Good for you

Harry
The rain poured onto my bedroom window, while I sat on the window ledge reading Looking for Alaska for the 7th time, Niall would be here in an hour and I decided to get caught up in my daily reading. It was quiet in my room and I just tidied it. I didn't want it to be a mess for him. Even though he comes here at least 6/7 days a week if not more.
Niall was practically Liam's real brother than me, as goes for Louis. I wish I had someone to talk to like a real sibling, Leslie does just fine when it comes to talking to someone in need. But I wish I had a father to talk to. Don't get me wrong Geof is nice, but I always end up having very awkward conversations with him. He's not the type to talk about feelings or what's going on your everyday life. You know to just talk to about the things you enjoy.
My Uncle Leo was always there for me when I was young, I could always count on him to tell what's going on in my life. He was the first one I told when I came home crying at the age of 7 that I thought I loved boys. Which turns out I did, he acted calmly and smoothly about it and just held me while I cried. Gemma thought I was lunatic to think such a thing, she never really got to know me. Sure we played together but we never talked about our feeling with each other and I think that's what every sibling should take time to know. They should know what's going on in there families live, well not everything but there sexuality is a big factor.
It made me a little sad to think about this, all of this. I never really got to know my sister and I lost the most important man in my life. They just both left in a matter of minutes. Sometimes I wish it would've been me, instead of Gem or even him. If I would've got dropped off last instead of Gem, or even didn't bother going to my old childhood friends house that day. This all wouldn't have happened, Gemma would be off to college or university. Uncle Leo would be with me through it all, I would've been able to handle the depression, anxiety, and loneliness better. I would be here not regretting all the horrible things I did to my body. I would be proud of who I was. Sure I'm smart, and have amazing people in my life. That doesn't mean I get sad on that odd night and want to hurt myself like I use to.
Sometimes I almost do it, and I know that something is gonna push me over the edge and I won't be able to handle it next time.
Then I think of my mom, she wouldn't be able to handle losing both her children. It shames me, that I even went though that dragging her ass with me to deal with what I put myself through. She's always checking up, making sure it doesn't happen again. Sometimes she even gets Liam to check up on me, because the fear she'll find me there laying on the cold tile floor like before. It pains me that she had to see that. No mother should witness there child sitting on the floor in a pile of blood.
Tears were brimming in my eyes thinking of all the stuff that occurred to me in the last 10 years, so much pain, so much tears, not enough band aids to heal the wounds.
When a knock sounded on my door, I was startled. I quickly wiped my eyes, and sat up straight.
"Come in," I shout. Niall bobs his head in and smiles widely. Not noticing the tears that just once fell from my eyes he waves and enters fully into my room.
"Hey Harry," he says as he sits himself on my bed. I like how he's so used to being here, even though he's been in my house a million times before, but only twice in my bedroom. He sure did know how to make himself feel at home.
"Hey Niall, so today I was thinking we can go over some grammar. I hear your not doing so well with that," Niall bites his lip.
"Yeah that's fine Harry, whatever you think is good for me, is good with me," he smiles cheekily. I'm good for you. Stop thinking like that, Niall is straight. Say that again, Niall is straight.
I exhale loudly, and nod as I grab the grammar sheet Mr.Lockwood have to me. I pass it over to him as he grabs it and skims over it.