puberty | hiatus

e i g h t e e n.

couple months later~

lucia

nate and i had some great times, for a lot of weeks. but i'm terrified about what will happen to us.

i mean, i love him. he's a player. you can't change a le my heart is gonna get hurt, badly.

i just don't know.

i don't know why i'm feeling this way.. i had a dream. that he was going to leave, saying he'd never come back because he never loved me in the first place. but i was the one who actually left, and he never came to find me.

i know i'm rambling, i just...i'm questioning if he could ever love me. maybe he's just playing with me?

he really hated me back when we were kids. we were really close childhood friends and one day in third grade i tried to say hello to him, but then his friend just snapped at me, saying i was fat and stupid and to just go away.

i was chubby, and at 11 i started dieting seriously, because before i had been in the hospital for anorexia and a binge eating disorder. the bullying never stopped.

nate never said anything cruel to me, but his friends were always cruel and he would just watch them torment me.

it was awful. i lost every other one of my friends and my family told me that it would be okay, but they never went to the school about it.

and then nate moved away and his friends got worse until the 10th grade, where i was sent to the principal's office for giving several of the guys black eyes, sore private parts, or bloody noses.

they didn't bother me after that. in fact, almost all of them tried to ask me out for the rest of high school because i was hot now and not fat.

puberty hit me hard, i guess. 😉

disgusting shallow pigs.

--
nate

i know lucia is extremely self conscious because of her horrible past with my friends and i.

and honestly i couldn't feel worse, trust me.

every time i'd walk into the room she'd put her head down and not look at me, not until recently.

now she looks at me with love in her eyes. and that scares me more than the hate.

i don't deserve her, she deserves someone better. someone who can treat her like she should be treated, and not worry about him leaving or breaking her heart.

i'm leaving soon. for college.

and i seriously love lucia. i don't know if i can do this.

we've had so many good days recently, and we haven't fought.

i've become closer with tyler, and cai is out of the house living with one of her good friends who is trying to cure her of alcoholism by making her become a vegan/vegetarian.

whatever the hell that is. i don't think i could go without meat. like bacon. who doesn't like bacon?! [me]

[NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE IM ACTUALLY CONSIDERING BECOMING A VEGAN SO]

a/n:

AHH HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAYY🍀☘🍀☘🍀☘🍀☘
DOUBLE UPDATE FOR YALL CUZ I JUST 💚 YOU ALL🤑

hope you are all having an amazing day!!

[holla at me if u got Irish blood bro]

hope u enjoy the new updatess!
imma just leprechaun outta here now....

xx kat

please don't read these jokes.

please no.

stop plz.

are you serious?!!

fine. go ahead.

don't blame me if u die from PUNishment.

ok kms bye.

WHATS A LEPRECHAUN'S DOG CALLED?

A THREE LEAFED ROVER.

*knee slap*

WHAT DO THE IRISH SAY WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO STEAL THEIR LAND?

ITS OUR-LAND.

GET IT?! AHAHAHAHA

OK IMMA ACTUALLY GO NOW.

SIKE!!!!

NO REALLY, bye. :)