Black Film | Phan (COMPLETE)

Chapter 20: Party

After what seemed like forever Dan and I finally agreed on an outfit; it was a casual plaid collard shirt and black skinny jeans. He wanted me to feel comfortable in what I was wearing so made it similar to my everyday clothes, I appreciated that.
When I was at the party I felt like my clothes were inadequate. Although other people were wearing something similar, I couldn't help but feel it suited other people more than the clothes suited me.

The air was suffocating and the scent of alcohol was so thick in the air that I felt sick and dizzy. My breathing became laboured so I quickly pushed past the intoxicated party goers to get into the kitchen. It was quieter here. I waited for my breathing to calm before doing what Dan had said and just pouring myself a coke.  The sugar made me feel more alert but my anxiety remained high.

"Phil!" A drunk Ben made his a over to me, he reeked of so much alcohol I was shocked he was still standing. "Glad you could make it!" He wasn't slurring his words, he seemed pretty sober but he really did smell of the alcohol, it hit me with every breath. He seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to drink because shortly after he grabbed the biggest bottle of Jack Daniels he could find.
"Get this down you."
"No it's fine really-" I rushed out but it was too late because he'd already slipped the Jack Daniels into my coke.
"Now chug!" He smiled like it was a game. I took a sip and the bitterness and sweetness of the drink slid down my throat. I wrinkled my nose up. "You're no fun." Ben pouted.
I took another drink, the second one wasn't so bad. I had finished it before I knew it and Ben had handed me another. I took it greatfully this time, my mind was becoming foggy but with it I saw the world in a different light. My anxiety was fading away.
"Let's head out." I followed Ben out into the back garden where there was even less people. It was nice to be in the fresh air. "You remember the squad." He pointed towards the same three people I had worked with in psychology.
"Nice to see you lot again." I smiled, I didn't feel awkward. I felt good. It was only then I realised they were smoking something; they were smoking weed.

I couldn't get my head around it,  I hadn't even guessed they would do this. This totally goes against everything my parents warned me about. They had something illegal!
"Have a drag," Ben encouraged me as he held out the joint. I stared at the smoke for the longest time, watching it in the air. Ben grew impatient, I knew I had to think fast. I wanted to fit in and this was my chance. I took it from him gingerly and he smiled approvingly. With a trembling hand I brought it up to my lips and took a long puff of the drug. It didn't make me feel much different, aside from feeling a little light headed, so maybe it wasn't so bad after all.    I held it back out to him but he didn't take it. Instead he asked, "ever had one before?" I shook my head.  "Well bud, that one's all yours." I didn't argue with him and kept it, I began to smoke like everyone else and it felt good. I felt like I belonged, even if I did belong to people that I could barely see through my clogged up mind and the smoke that covered us all.

"My hands aren't shaking," I told Jack later that night. I outstretched my hands, they looked far away and unreal. Jack grabbed my wrist and roughly shook so my hands flapped everywhere. I looked from them to Jack amazed.
"Problem solved,"he said and dropped my hands in order to light another joint.
"Woow! Thanks pal,  you really helped me out."
"Anytime bruh,  what are friends for?" I smiled at him lazily as my reply before stumbling over to the kitchen to fetch myself a drink. I fell into the table.
"Sorry," I told the inanimate object as coke poured over the surface.  I grabbed a cup and held it to my lips, I started at it in confusion when nothing poured out. I then laughed at my stupidity.
"Whoopsies," I hiccuped as I reached for a bottle of alcohol to fill my cup up with. The bottle went back onto the table and I saw Ben standing beside me.
"You've had enough for one night," he said.
"Jeez okay mum," I laughed.
"Let me take you home," he said and grabbed the cup out of my hand, he steered me to the door by my shoulders. "You need to call anyone?"
"Nah," was my reply. I was lucky enough for my party to coincide with my dad's longest work day and my mum's night shift. Meaning, dad would still be and sleep and mum would have left the house ages ago.

Ben walked me home. He stopped outside my front door.
"Youre pretty cool Lester."
"You're pretty coool yourself," I told him and extended my o's.
"I know." He chuckled. "You up for another party soon?"
"Hell yeah!" I exclaimed excitedly. I had officially fit in well enough at my first college party to be invited to a second.
"Cool, I'll text you the deets." He told me and before I could reply he leaned in. I felt his lips grace my cheek. He pulled back, but he was still close to me. Our noses were nearly touching and I felt his breath on my lips as he whispered, "seeya in college". Then he left.