Black Film | Phan (COMPLETE)

Chapter 03: Film

I looked at my time table with glossed over eyes, I didn't want to go in today. I wanted to stay in bed, sleep forever. Change makes me terrified, although I can't really say why, and college is a massive change. New people, new teachers, new subjects, new building. The only thing that's stayed the same is me, and it's ironic because that's the one thing I want to change.

I got out of bed, keeping my breathing shallow. I would get through today, it was just one day.

I hoped in the shower and let the warm water wash over me. Waking me up in the process. All the time I was in there I couldn't stop thinking about college, what it would be like. I had film first and I wondered if PJ was in the same class as me, though I didn't even know what lessons he took. I just needed to know someone otherwise I would have a break down in class.
I heard a knock on my door.
"Hurry up Phil" my mum's voice said and I quickly turned the shower off, wrapped myself in a towel and left to go to my bedroom.
I wore my Gengar top and some black skinnies today, it was a bit darker than usual but matched my current emotions perfectly. I sighed as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I really hated it.
I began to sort out my mane of a hair, blow drying and straightening it until I looked a little bit presentable and then, after a quick breakfast, it was time to go.

I got in the car, my mum got in the other side and she began to drive the 20 minute ride to my college building. I saw the white block building and my heart hit the back of my throat, my leg wouldn't stop shaking. My mum noticed and gave me a side smile.
"You'll be fine phil" she told me softly.
"I know" I whispered and we said our goodbyes. I got out of the car and walked up to the building, burying my hands deep in my jacket pockets as the wind hit at me from all sides. I didn't see PJ anywhere as I walked in and made my way to the theatre room, where my film class would take place. I was early once again but that's just how I am, I'd rather be early than late.

I looked in the large room and it turned out to be a a screening room with chairs circling a giant screen, it was like a mini cinema. I saw a group of boys talking, another group of students and then there was a boy on his own on the third row. I sat two seats away from the boy who I now saw had straightened brunette hair. Maybe he was a loner like me, we would get along fine if that were the case.
I was quite worried that he would try and talk to me, he was pretty attractive and I get intimated very easily. Probably due to low self esteem issues or something but either way I couldn't imagine forming a coherent sentence if it were aimed at him. But maybe this is just bad judgement, maybe he's actually about as intimidating as a butterfly once you get to his personality, but for now I just want to disappear and not talk at all. This is why I have trouble making new friends. I want to talk to others but I'm terrified of what they'll think of me or find me annoying so I just can't.
My dad always says "what's the worst that could happen?" And I can't get close to an answer other than they'll hate me.

Soon the teacher began to talk, he said his name but I couldn't remember it, I think it's french or something.
"Most people call me L though" Just like in death note! I thought and grinned a little, I could feel the guy looking at me but I tried to ignore it. I began to tap my pen against my paper but quickly stopped myself, I used to do this a lot in school when I got nervous and my mates would grab my pen off me so I would stop. I felt worse thinking that maybe I had annoyed the guy with my presence already and maybe that was why he was looking at me and now I was annoying him by tapping my pen. I wanted to delete myself from the lesson but knew I couldn't, I had to get past this fear of people's thoughts!
Thankfully the teacher began to talk about the lessons that would take place this year and it made my mind relax a little as I absorbed the information.
"If you came here for Disney them please leave now" he addressed everyone, no one left of course (though I could see the idea flashed through a lot of people's minds, including my own) "I will be teaching you the classic stylings of film noir"
I had seen silly Disney spin offs of the type of film he was talking about but never actually seen a film myself. I began to write down in my notebook everything he was saying: something about German expressionist artist escaping to Hollywood and bringing this style of film. It was a lot to take in for the first lesson but still interesting, learning helped my anxiety a little as well.

Whilst all of this was going on the guy not far from me had starting a conversation with half of our class! I had really misjudged him, he was no loner, he might actually be one of the populars.
"Young man!" L snapped and the guy stopped talking "do you have some interesting noir trivia to share?"
"Yes actually" he started and cleared his throat "film noir... means... black film in french" he got out very slowly.
"Quick thinking lad but another foot out of line like that and you'll be made to give me an entire essay about the origins of film noir" L smiled cheekily and then chuckled a little. I wasn't sure if I liked L but it was still early days. He rambled on for a little bit longer and was cut off mid sentence when the door burst open revealing a woman, who at first I thought was a teacher, with pink hair.
"Sorry I'm late. My daughter didn't want me to leave this morning" she seemed very flustered and I found it strangely funny how no one batted an eyelid at the fact she had a child, or maybe they knew her. She could also be older than 16, the teachers had told us adults go to this college too.
"Don't worry, take a seat" L told her and she made her way over to us and plonked herself between me and the guy. I expected L to carry on talking but instead he did something worse, much, much worse.
"Okay team" he said "time to work in groups, you'll need to write down as many films as you can think of on this A3 sheet of paper." I looked over at the pair sat next to me and soon there was a blank A3 in front of us and an awkward silence hoovering in the air.
"Right. We're going to be in this lesson for about a year, might as well be film friends the guy said a little too enthusiastically "My names Dan"

AN: Yay Danny is here
- Rach