Let's Play Doctor!

Game 18 - You will love me as much as I love you

"Lahat naman ng bagay na may kinalaman kay Angelo inis na si Andy at ganun din si Angelo. They had always hated each other. Can we stop talking about them?" I asked. "Nagmumukha kang chismoso Caleb."

He sighed and made a move to pull me close to him. "It's just that the thought of two men fighting over you is an unwelcome thought. I want you all by myself and I just want to be prepared if ever there comes a time that I will need to fight just to have you." niyakap niya ako bigla. "I just want you to be mine and mine alone."

And I can't help it but hug him back. "Silly you. When you asked me to be your girlfriend, I was already yours." I smiled at him. "Si Angelo walang gusto sa akin yun, bata palang kami si Elena na. At si Andy naman wala rin gusto sa akin yun. Galit lang talaga yun kay Angelo kaya nagkakaganun. Sometimes those two would fight just to have what the other has." 

"Ibig mong sabihin kunyari may girlfriend si Andy, aagawin ni Angelo Chua yung girlfriend ni Andy? Ganun ba?" Caleb asked. 

I shook my head. "Angelo would never steal someone else's girlfriend. He's an honorable man. I've never actually seen Angelo take something away from Andy but when provoked he would fight." depensa ko para kay Angelo. 

"Pero si Andy kaya niyang mang-agaw?" 

"Yes. Andy is capable of anything just to get what he wants. That's how I've always known him." sabi ko. "He never thinks of the consequences of his actions." 

"Had he ever hurt someone? Alam mo na may nasaktan na ba dahil sa mga ginawa niya dati?" 

"Madami. Pero may apat na tao ang sobrang naapektuhan sa ginawa niya." 

"Anong nangyari?" 

I shook my head and stood up. I still think Caleb should not learn about those things. About what happened to Andy before. It was going to affect their friendship, I know that. "The two hated each other even more, the other one was left broken and the other one feared taking risks and feeling anything." I looked at him and smiled. "Let's leave it that way. Hindi dapat natin pinag-uusapan si Andy. Masamang mag chismis." 

He stood up and nodded. He placed his hands on my waist and stared at me and smiled. "Someday you will trust me enough to tell that story." he told me.

It's not about trust. I almost said aloud. 

"And also someday you will also love me enough to trust me with your heart." 

I went still. I pulled awyay and walked towards his big window and stared outside. The view looked serene. "I told you Caleb, I can't love you Caleb." 

"Why not?" ramdam kong palapit siya sa akin pero hindi ko siya nilingon. 

Because I'm too damaged. "I don't have the ability to love someone Caleb." 

Naramdaman kong nasa likod ko na siya. "Do you love you family?" 

"Of course." sagot ko kahit hindi ko alam kung saan to patungo.

"Your closest friends?"

"Well duh." 

Hinarap niya ako sa kanya at ngumiti siya sa akin. The Smile. "Then doctor, you have the ability to love someone, you just choose to be indifferent with your feelings." 

"Caleb alam mong ibang love yung sinasabi ko."

"Parehas lang yun Emma. When you love someone you love them unconditionally just like how you love your family and friends. And you doctor has the ability to love if you just choose to feel it. And I'll tell you this, someday you will love me as much as I love you. You will love me enough to take risk with me." Andy vowed. 

I don't know. Did he just say he loves me? Or was he pertaining to the future that maybe someday he would also love me? But why does the knowledge that he loves me sent the butterflies in my stomach to do sommersault? When it was supposed to get rid of the butterflies? 

"Baba na tayo at baka hinahanap na tayo." sabi niya at tumango nalang ako. Hindi ko kasi alam yung sasabihin ko. 

Should I tell him that it would never happen and that he was just wasting his time or should I let him think that maybe someday. 

That someday I would want to take a risk with him. 

To fall in love with him. 

A/N:

Siningit ko lang yung mga usapan nila about sa inability ni Emma na magmahal. It's really important in the story. Sorry to disappoint some of you who thought malalaman na dito sa chapter na to kung ano man past ni Andy at Emma but no, matagal pa yun maybe chapter 24 or so pa. 

I will be busy muna this week at tatapusin ko yung paper ko about sa seminar namin. But I will still try to squeeze some more time in writing this. 

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till next time...