Broken #Wattys2016

I Always Keep My Promises.

I Always Keep My Promises.

Walking inside and seeing you there, your eyes glazed over..

All the bottles surrounding you.

The stink of alcohol all around me.

I can't do this.

Knowing I'm the reason you picked up that first bottle.

How you looked to the alcohol for answers.

For the affection that I can't give.

To ease the pain I'm inflicting.

It broke my fucking heart seeing that.

I hate that I'm the reason why.

I hate that I'm hurting you.

I hate that I somehow fell out of love with you.

Trying to grab a fully grown man and support him while you take him to bed is a fucking hard task.

But I still did it. I watched as you collapsed on the bed and passed out, slurring something I didn't understand.

I cleaned up all the empty bottles and made sure you had water beside you.

I did it because I love you. Just not in the way I'm supposed to.

I love you like a friend.

I love you because of all our history.

I love you because you truly did make me happy once.

But I don't love you the way a girlfriend should love her man..

Thank fuck I got to you at the right time where you just needed sleep.

Cause I couldn't handle all your questions. The tears you shed over me. The way you say you love me, over and over.

When I get you at that stage, it fucking shatters me.

I'm slowly killing you. Just like I said I would.

I warned you.. I pushed you away for so long.

I should of kept pushing.

I told you I would break your heart. In fact, I promised it.

And now, I am. The worst part of it is how long it took me to do it.

Five years. It took me five years.

But now, I'm coming through with that promise.

I'm breaking your heart.

I'm throwing everything away.

Maybe I was right.

Maybe I can never truly love someone.

My mind is to fucked up to understand the concept of love.

Maybe I am to damaged.

Let me go.

Go find a normal girl.

A girl who isn't so messed up.

A girl who can love and adore you the way you deserve.

I'm not good enough for love.

I'm not good enough for anyone.

I'm not good enough.

I'm not good.

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Thank you for reading.

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- Jade xx