all of me •tom brady•

» loss «

I'm hard to love, hard to love,
No, I don't make it easy,

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September 10, 2014
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They lost. Olivia stood numb in front of the large television screen sitting atop the stone fireplace. Never once did it cross her mind that the Patriots would lose. Tom was so confident in winning against their division rivals and he instilled that same confidence in her. She knew Tom desperately wanted to go into the game and start the season off with a win. And the exact opposite happened. Olivia tried to look at the bright side: at least he wasn't hurt. But she knew that wouldn't comfort Tom.

She dreaded when the Patriots lost. It was like Tom wasn't present in conversations. And if he was present, you didn't want him to be because he was so angry. Olivia knew the kind of competitor he was. He replayed every single snap in his brain and tortured himself with what could have been. It was a week of hell for all of them.

Tom, the usually doting dad who loved to play with his daughter, was the exact opposite following a loss. And even though Tom was hurting, Scout took the brunt of the loss the worst. The two year old didn't understand why her daddy was so angry and why he didn't want to play with her; she just thought she was in trouble. And as her mother, it broke Olivia's heart.

Scout came into the living room in her Brady jersey and hair in pigtails. She had a hard time sitting through the whole game and often went and played at halftime. "Did daddy win?"

"No honey, they lost," Olivia said shaking her head and kneeling down with her arms stretched out to her daughter. Scout ran to them willingly.

"Is daddy going to be sad?" Scout asked with such emotion for a two year old. She was a true daddy's girl. Olivia tried explaining many times to Scout why he was sad after a loss but she was to young to comprehend it.

"Yes baby, daddy's probably going to be sad," Olivia said stroking her daughter's hair. Scout's face turned into a pout after hearing that Tom wasn't going to be happy.

By the time the front door swung open, Scout totally forgot about the earlier conversation. She had been playing in her room with the dolls waiting for Tom to get home so he would play with her. Tom threw his bag on the floor and just stood in the doorway. He slammed the door shut making his presence known throughout the house. His thumb and index finger massaged the bridge of his nose with his other hand on his hip. He was just trying to understand how they lost that game. "Daddy!" Scout said running towards him with excitement.

"Not now Scout," Tom mumbled sullenly. He didn't even meet his daughter with the hug that she desperately wanted.

"But you said we would finish playing dolls," Scout said sadly. Olivia now came into view with her arms crossed analyzing the conversation carefully.

"I said not now Scout!" Tom snapped loudly. The toddler's lip began to quiver before the tears spilled out of her usually bright blue eyes. She ran off to her bedroom.

"For Gods sakes Tom, she's just a kid. You can't talk to her like that. She doesn't understand," Olivia said glaring at Tom before running after Scout.

Olivia got to Scouts room to see the toddler wiping her tears from her eyes. "Hey bugs," Olivia said in a melancholy voice. She could see the heartbreak on her daughter's face. Ever since Tom left she had been waiting for him to come home and play with her. The usually talkative little girl sat silent on her bed. Olivia went to her side and wrapped her in her toned arms. "We just need to leave daddy alone right now. He'll play with you tomorrow honey," Olivia said.

"Will you play with me?" Scout asked looking up at her mother with puppy dog eyes and a pouting bottom lip. The girl wasn't doing it on purpose but she was impossible to say no to.

"Sure, mommy will play with you for a little bit. Then you need to go to sleep. And tomorrow when you wake up daddy will play with you all day," Olivia assured her. She planted a pink lipstick kiss on the side of Scout's forehead. Scout gladly got up from her bed to grab the dolls that she had specifically laid out for her and Tom to play with.

"This one was going to be daddy's but you can play with it," Scout said handing the doll to her mother. Olivia frowned that she had already set it up for Tom to play with her. Olivia played for a while like she promised before ushering Scout back to her bed for the night.

After Scout was asleep, Olivia began searching the house for Tom. She was unsure if she even wanted to find him, she couldn't believe the game of football had caused him to lash out at Scout like that. She looked in every room before finally finding him in his office. She should have known. Of course he was watching film. The game ended just hours ago and he was watching the film for it already. Olivia's blood was boiling.

She burst into the office. The usually mild mannered woman was not going to stand this. The office smelled like footballs and Old Spice. Usually the smell enticed her, but tonight it just made her even more angry. "Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?" Olivia said. She was fuming.

"What?" Tom asked. He had no clue what was wrong. He looked at his wife quickly and could practically see smoke coming out of her ears before he went back to the lap top. Olivia noticed and slammed the laptop shut. "What the hell?" Tom asked throwing his hands up.

"What the hell? What the hell Tom? Are you kidding me? You have no idea why I'm angry?" Olivia yelled. Tom just shook his head slowly. "Okay well let's see, um, I've been home with your daughter for the past two days alone. All she talked about was that when her daddy got home that he was going to play with her dolls with her. So her daddy gets home and yells at her. Totally breaks her heart. Doesn't say goodnight or apologize to her. Her mommy does everything once again while daddy watches god damn football film. Are you fucking kidding me? That's why I'm pissed Tom," Olivia explained in a loud and angry voice.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Tom said bringing his finger to his lips. His feet were laying on top of the wooden desk in a relaxed way and he was sprawled out in his desk chair.

"You're right. You don't have to say anything to me. It's your daughter that deserves an explanation not me," Olivia said. She crossed her arms and walked out of the office swinging her hips in satisfaction. She felt that she got her point across when she heard Tom let out a noise similar to "aghhhhhh" when he realized the game wasn't the only thing he screwed up.