Chasing Miss Conner •OLD VERSION•

Thirty Eight

|Song: Better Than Me By Hinder|

Thirty Eight

Juliette's Pov

I sighed and rubbed my temples, frustrated with the fact that I can't seem to concentrate lately. I had about a dozen more essays and worksheets to grade before tomorrow, but I was getting no where.

The past few months have been excruciating. The school was pretty lenient with my work, and gave me all the time I needed. That was a big relief. Emotionally and physically. I'd been a wreck when I got out of the hospital, though I thought I'd covered it well enough with make up and good taste.

But then I saw her that day in the hallway. Those beautiful brown eyes threatened to turn me inside out and for a split second I imagined myself running over there and pulling her into my arms before I remembered where and who I was.

Love only goes so far in this world. I was still so damn angry at her. Angry over the fact that she had kissed me with so much passion and love and then she turned away and didn't look back. She left me there, she knew how it felt to be left like that and she turned and walked away anyways. I wasn't going to whine about it, I am a strong woman. I was able to endure a few more weeks of tests and another surgery. But being strong doesn't always mean it hurts less. It made me wonder, if she really loved me as much as she claimed, how could that have been so easy for her? To just walk away and not look back.

I shook that ridiculous thought away. She loved me with everything in her, I knew that. I knew why she pushed me away. She was afraid of hurting me. She was afraid of our secret being discovered. I knew it killed her to do what she did, and I had to commend her for being strong through her decision. She was protecting me in the only way she knew how. I can't possibly fault her for that.

My heart still clenched painfully whenever I remembered how stricken she'd looked when I'd forced my mask up and shut the door in her face. I had to force myself to be strong. After all, she chose this. She chose not to be there for me or love me anymore. I still loved her with every bone in my body, and I could only dream that she would pull her head out of her ass and come back to me.

I decided to take a break from my dark and twisty thoughts and shower. I had been getting fighting a cold for the past few weeks and felt horrible and I'm pretty sure I smelled horrible too. I guess that's the perks of living alone, no one can see you when you look like shit. Setting down my laptop on the couch, I padded into the bathroom.

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The drive to Juliette's apartment took what felt like an eternity. But when we pulled up to the space in front of the building where I'd never really been, it felt like it only lasted a few second. My back was as stiff as a board and I probably sat there for five whole minutes just staring at the place before I actually moved to get out.

I wasn't shaking or afraid anymore. I was determined. I was going to match up there and beg, grovel, cry, and hope to god she didn't hate me and slam the door in my face.

Genny grabbed my hand as I went to get out and I glanced at her. Her face held a worried expression as she looked at me. "I'll wait for a few, just in case. But be honest with her, okay? There's no doubt in my mind that she loves you, but you have to be honest." I was again reminded of how lucky I was to have a friend like her as her words stuck to me and I blinked back tears as I reached in to pull her into a hug.

"Thanks for everything Gen." I mumbled into her shirt, taking a minute to inhale her familiar smell for comfort, before pulling away and shutting the door.

I breathed in a lungful of night air and slowly made my way up to the building in front of me. It was a really nice and well-kept building and I was again struck with how different her choices for a home really were. Where this had a more modern and "rich-kid" almost unapproachable vibe to it, the cabin she took me to was much more laid-back and welcoming. It truly had more of a Juliette feel to it. I guess that was more due to the fact that her grandpa was really the only person who understood her.

The front desk guy eyed me with minimal interest for the longest time before he finally told me what number and floor Juliette's apartment was on. I grumbled out a 'thank you' and pressed the button for the elevator, trying in vain to control my nerves.

Forever passed three times before the elevator 'dinged' signaling that I'd arrived on my intended floor. My eyes closed briefly and I took in a long deep breath before I opened them and stepped out of the elevator. The hallway seemed to stretch on for miles before I found the apartment door.

123B stood out in pretty silver against the burgundy door.

My hand shook as I brought it up to knock against the wood. My skin barely made contact and I scoffed internally at myself and my nervousness and knocked again, holding my breath as the sound echoed.

"Just a second!" My whole being seemed to deflate as her beautiful accent washed over me. I had almost lost myself in it when she opened the door.

I swear to god, every organ in my body ceased to function for a solid five minutes. My eyes traveled from the top of her slicked back honey-dark hair to the tips of her toes and back again at least three times. I was sure my jaw was going to stay permanently unhinged this time.

Her slender but muscular frame was wrapped in a fluffy dark blue towel, accentuating her sun-kissed skin. The drips water that dripped off the ends of her hair seemed unbearably loud as they plopped on the floor. My eyes kept trying to travel to the drops that still caressed her body and I was immediately envious of them.

"Shay?"

Her bright blue eyes settled on me with an incredulous look, and the ever-familiar heat spread through me as her gaze raked over me. I ran a hand through my hair almost self-consciously, now suddenly aware of my disheveled presence and the way that I reeked of alcohol.

"Hi."

The word was a breathy gasp in my mouth and my tongue darted out unconsciously to lick my lips. Her eyes automatically followed the movement for a moment before she snapped her gaze to mine again.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice threatened to freeze me on the spot and suddenly the room felt 20 degrees cooler from the unmistakeable bite in her voice.

I adverted my eyes shyly, suddenly completely unaware of what I was going to say and the fact that she was only wearing a towel.

"I-I uh....I just..." I started, before sighing and turning my eyes to the ceiling. Why did I come? She obviously doesn't want me.

Well, you have to try harder then that, dummy. My mind spouted back at me sarcastically.

"Shut up." I growled under my breath before cursing at myself since I was standing here in front of the love of my life and could only seem to muster up an argument between myself and myself.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm here. I'll just go." I turned and started walking away but was quickly stopped by a hand on my arm. Her thumb glided gently over the crook of my elbow and I shivered at the foreign but oh-so-familiar sensation.

"Wait...just...come in for a moment." Her tone was still hard, but beneath it I could sense an aura of desperation and when I turned, her eyes only proved that for me.

I hesitated for a brief five seconds before I nodded and allowed her to pull me inside.