The Relationship Writer

The Relationship Writer - Chapter 20

Chapter 20

My eyes squeezed shut, and, almost painfully, I pulled away. No matter how much I wanted to forgive Aaron for everything he said, and for using me, I couldn't let myself. I had to stay strong and let him know what he did was wrong.

The worst part is, he probably hated kissing me, when I actually loved it. His lips felt like they were made for mine.

Aaron still held my face in his hands, and my lips trembled. I couldn't bring myself to look at Aaron, especially when I was such a nervous wreck. My hair was probably in horrible disarray, and my face was probably red, splotchy, and disgusting. My stomach clenched painfully, and I had to resist the urge to double over.

"Riley," Aaron said gently, his voice cracking. "I'm sorry."

I don't know what made me do it. Maybe it was how his voice wavered, or his sincere-sounding apology, but I finally looked at him. His eyes were shut, his jaw was clenched, and he looked like he was in so much pain. I almost felt pity.

Almost.

No, my heart hadn't been turned to stone. It hadn't been thrown on a barbecue, forgotten and burning until it turned black. It hadn't hardened from any sort of childhood trauma, nor had it shrunk from the stress of being a social outcast. Any of those choices would be better, because at least my heart would still be in one piece.

Aaron Ross had broken my heart. And even though he was there, trying to tell me how sorry he was, kissing me... My stubborn brain wouldn't let me forgive him. It was pounding painfully, making me wince when Aaron's dark blue eyes flew open. I felt a pang in my stomach.

Then there was my heart.

Everyone's always wondering, "If your brain says one thing, but your heart says another... Which do you follow?" Well, I never thought I'd actually have to think about it, considering I assumed I was destined to die alone with ten notebooks. But apparently, there's no such thing as destiny. I sure as hell didn't expect someone like Aaron to drop into my life.

My heart was broken, all because of Aaron. I believed he had used me just for the column. I heard him tell me what was wrong with me. The truth.

But the funny thing about my heart... It wanted to be healed. It wanted someone to pick up all the pieces and put them back together, even if that someone would only be willing to duct tape it back together. My heart longed to be whole again. It just couldn't be whole by itself.

But I couldn't let Aaron break it even more.

I let out a sob, pushed Aaron away from me, and started running down the hall. I skidded into the girl's bathroom, desperately hoping Aaron had enough sense to stay out.

~~~

I didn't get out of bed the entire day. It was Saturday.

My parents were worried; I could tell. My mom kept buzzing in and out of my room, feeling my forehead, asking me questions, and looking at me with the most concerned expression I've ever seen. Even my dad dropped by my room every few hours, asking if I needed Advil. I didn't.

Normally, at seven in the evening, I would be writing something in my notebook. Maybe a news article, or even a movie review. But I couldn't bring myself to write.

For the first time in my life, my notebook couldn't save me.

I groaned, burying my face into my pillow. Maybe I should just lie here forever. I could forget about Aaron. Get a cat. But then I would neglect it. Because if I lie here forever, I wouldn't be able to feed or play with it. See, that's why I'd rather grow up alone with ten--

Clink.

Oh, dear God. Don’t tell me that’s—

Clink.

I squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could. If only I could do the same with my ears, everything would be great. You know what they say, ignorance is bliss.

Clink.

But what most definitely isn’t bliss is having the most obnoxious boy causing the most obnoxious sounds.

I forced myself out of bed. I wasn’t going to go downstairs, or even say anything to Aaron. I didn’t have anything to say to him.

I looked around my room, ignoring the billionth clink on my window. I grabbed the heaviest thing I could find. It happened to be my math textbook.

Being the scrawny, almost underweight girl that I am, it was extremely difficult to hold the heavy textbook in one hand as I pushed my window open. I set the book down on the windowsill and stared down at Aaron blankly. He was holding a single pebble in his left hand.

“We need to talk,” he said. “Now.”

“I’m not a dog,” I deadpanned. “I don’t do commands.”

Aaron’s lips twitched, something sparking in his eyes. “But you’re my kitty cat,” he said, the serious tone fading. My stomach lurched as my hands gripped the textbook, and I brought it into view. Aaron stared at it blankly, before realizing what I was doing. I threw the textbook at him.

Eat calculus, you bastard.

I kept my expression blank, and my tone blunt and flat. “Go away,” I said, sounding almost bored. But despite my apathetic façade, I could still feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. Aaron stared up at me in horror.

“Seriously?! A textbook?!” Aaron shouted. He grabbed the textbook off the ground, shaking his head in bewilderment. “A calculus textbook, too! You know I hate calculus!”

“Nice to know,” I drawled. “But you probably don’t hate it nearly as much as I hate you.”

Just as the words rolled off my tongue, a tear escaped my eye. I mentally cursed, trying to keep a straight face.

The words I had just uttered were only half true. I did hate Aaron.

But I was also in love with him.

“I won’t give up on you.”

The sound of Aaron’s voice made my heart hurt. I gripped the windowsill until my knuckles turned white. My gaze shifted so that I was staring at him.

“I’m not just gonna walk away,” Aaron went on. His voice was low, but just loud enough for me to hear. “I don’t usually do this sort of thing, but you’re worth it. Hell, you’re worth everything to me.”

I dropped my gaze to my hands. They were already covered in tears, still pale from clutching the windowsill so tightly. My breathing hitched.

“Doesn’t really feel like it,” I muttered, my voice cracking with each word. I didn’t know if Aaron had been able to hear me or not, but I had to get away, before I fell out the window from being so overwhelmed.

I slammed the window shut.

<><><>

Riley’s annoying me too, you guise. But have no fear, Aaron’s here! He’s not giving up. :’D

Thanks for reading! ^.^