Comedian (A Hariana Love Story | h.s a.g)

Part 42: Working While Broken

"It was nice talking to you again too uhh how come you're not on the show so much tonight what's going on?! You're like the show's star player right now, you're like the quarterback of NBC!" Larry David says to me and I burst out laughing. We were currently talking backstage during SNL since he came on the show to impersonate Bernie Sanders and I didn't have another sketch to do until the end of the show. Larry is one of my biggest idols ever, I love his work so much and I definitely credit him as one of the main reasons why I got into comedy so to hear him say that means a lot.

"I don't know, I'm not really complaining though, I don't really want to be on screen with Trump, I kinda wrote for other people this week" I joke and Larry laughs, which makes me feel so good. The real reason I'm not on the show so much tonight was because for one, I didn't want to write anything this week so I ended up not doing much during writer's night and second of all, everyone in the studio could kinda tell I've been a little down this week and assumed I wouldn't want to do too much which I don't so I'm happy I was able to lay low this week. I talk to Larry for a little bit longer before I have to go get ready for my next sketch, I was only in two this week and I was totally fine with that. Once the show was over I decided to skip the after party and take a cab home, as I made my way outside of 30 Rock I'm immediately stopped by two teenage girls who ask me for a photo.

"Oh my gosh hi! I can't believe this is happening, we were just visiting here from California and I never thought we'd run into you, we're such fans of you, we were wondering if we could get a photo" one of the girls say and I agree. "Wow, thanks so much! How's Harry by the way, we don't mean to intrude on your privacy but we were just wondering" they say and I feel my heart drop down to my stomach as soon as his name is mentioned.

"Uh, I'm such he's good, I haven't talked to him in a while" I admit with a little smile and a light laugh as the girls laugh along before saying goodbye as I hop into a cab. Even though Harry and I broke up earlier this week we haven't really told anyone. I mean I don't really have a publicist of my own that does that kind of stuff so I don't know how to do it and Harry and his team for some reason aren't doing it either. I guess they're trying to ride out this publicity, that thought just makes me angry, they're such pieces of shit. But people aren't even assuming we've broken up or anything, everyone thinks everything's fine but it's not and I don't know how to tell people that. I would love to tell people it's over because I feel like it might help me get over him but I can't, I don't want E! News talking about what happened and I also don't want to tell random people who come up to me on the streets that Harry and I have broken up.

...

"I'll right I'll see you tomorrow, tell Lorne I say hi by the way! Oh and trust me, you'll feel better soon, get some rest I love ya!" I hear Tina Fey exclaim as I walk out of her office. It was about 9p.m. on Monday and she, Robert Carlock, and I had all just spent about 11 hours coming up with ideas and writing for our show 'The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.' Tina and Robert were asked to create the show and later on, she asked me to join them as a writer for the show and I absolutely love it. It feels good to be able to write comedy but not also have to worry about acting in it yourself and I really enjoy that. All three of us sometimes write together and then we all write some episode completely by ourselves as well. The cast of the show is hilarious too so it's not stressful at all since if I know something might not work so well I have a lot of people who can input advice or improv a bit of the scene. I was writing for the show for the next 5 days and there's an SNL episode on this week as well as the next so I'm extremely busy for the next couple of days. I thought this would be a good thing since it would be a great way for me to forgot about Harry and everything however, I just feel like it's a terrible thing because not only can I not stop thinking about Harry, it's harder for me to focus on all the work I have to do because it's hard for me to try to be funny when I feel so broken.

...

"I'm sure Harry will be weeping away over what he's missed out on when he see's this" Aidy jokes and I burst into laughter. We were currently filming another SNL Digital Short with Kate, Vanessa and Elizabeth Banks, the host this week, and we were all currently dressed as female versions of the Backstreet Boys from their 'I Want It That Way' music video where their wearing all white. We were making a parody music video called 'First Got Horny 2 U' where we talk about the guys that first turned us on, although we just picked really random people (mainly Aidy and Vanessa) and it's really weird.

"Oh yea, especially after he see's me hump that pillow" I joke as Aidy and I talk about how stupid we look right now. Even though it's a really embarrassing thing to be singing about I'm having so much fun. It was currently 1a.m. on Thursday and there's no place I would rather be than right here with three of my favourite girls on Earth. I also spent about 5 hours earlier today shooting another even weirder (if that's possible) short with Mike O'Brien who left the show last season but has agreed to come back and do some shorts every now and then. Mike is one of my best friends and he makes me laugh harder than most people I know so I was so happy to see him. We spent most of the day filming in a car just driving around and having fun and I really enjoyed it. He wouldn't admit it but I think he did it because he knew how sad I've been lately and he wanted to try and cheer me up. Even if that wasn't his plan it's still what happened. We spent the day improving in his car, pretending to give birth to a baby and hiding a body and eating ice cream and jamming out and even though it was all being shot it was so much fun, it was like we were genuinely just hanging out with each other. Nonetheless, I still can't seem to get over Harry and it's really annoying me, I want to move on but I can't, I think I still love him.

...

"You should tweet about Justin Bieber's album just to piss him off" Jason says as we lay on the main stage of Studio 8H together on Friday night. 1D and Justin Bieber's album came out today and I feel weird knowing people expect me to say something but I can't since Harry and I aren't together any longer and that would be weird. Plus, I think I've given him enough publicity.

"I would except he's also a piece of shit" I joke and Jason laughs in agreement. Justin once hosted SNL and it was literally the worst experience I've ever had on this show. Like we've had some diva-ish hosts before and I don't really mind, I mean you can't expect everyone you work with to love and respect this job as much as you do but Justin just like went out of his way to be an ass-hole. He is literally the worst host I've ever had to work with and the whole entire cast agrees. It's insane to me to think about how even though 1D and Justin Bieber lived fairly similar lives, they turned out so sweet while he turned into a complete dip shit. Jason and I hang out for a bit longer just talking until Bill joins us and eventually so does Fred and Aidy and Kate and Seth and we begin putting on another funny little sketch for just us. However, this time instead of Fred and I leading the entertainment, Fred, Bill and Jason take the lead and I just sit back and spend the whole night watching everyone else put on a little show and laugh my ass off. I love these guys so much, they always know how to make me laugh.