Comedian (A Hariana Love Story | h.s a.g)

Part 22: Baby Dilemma

"Are you sure? I don't want to make you guys have to be stuck babysitting all day if you don't want to" Lou exclaims as she tries to decide whether or not to accept mine and Harry's offer to watch over Lux for her since she has some stuff she needs to go out and do today.

"It's fine, we want to" I reassure her as Harry is already sitting on the couch playing with Lux. I'm not too great with kids and honestly would rather not have to look after Lux but I want to help Lou out and Harry seems like he knows what to do.  Lou finally agrees as she apologetically makes her way out the door after saying goodbye to all of us. I make my way over to the couch and sit next to Harry. We begin to play some games Lux wants to play like this Barbie board game she brought with herself. Soon after Harry orders pizza and we eat as Lux shares some stories about her life, one of which is a very detailed account of the time she saw a dog at the park a couple of weeks ago. 

Time goes by very fast and soon it's time for Lux to have a nap. I sit on our bed as Lux lays in a small crib Lou had brought for her and Harry lays on the floor. We try to get her to fall asleep but she just wants to keep hearing Harry talk to her in a funny little accent he was doing. I begin filming him as he talks to her in the accent once again as I laugh over how exhausted he looks. Lux finally falls asleep and Harry and I quietly walk out of the bedroom to lay on the couch. I show Harry the video and he grabs my phone and begins using it. I try to grab it away from him to see what he's up to but he simply moves the phone further away from me. He eventually gives in after he's clearly done whatever he has need to but when I look at my phone it's on the home page so I can't tell what he's done. "What did you do?" I whine.

"I posted the video" he says calmly as my eyes widen.

"What why?" I ask shocked, "people are going to be so annoyed, no one wants to see us hanging out" I say kinda nervous about what people might say.

"No they won't, don't worry it's fine" he says giving me a quick kiss on the cheek as I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder. "It was fun babysitting Lux wasn't it?" he asks as we lay on the couch.

"Yea, she's adorable" I say as my head remains nestled on his shoulder. He smells so good, and his arm that's wrapped around me makes me feel so protected.

"Do you want kids in the future?" He asks and I feel myself tense up because truthfully, I don't and I have a feeling Harry does.

"I don't know, I don't really think I do" I say honestly feeling somewhat guilty.

"Why not?" He asks seeming genuinely curious which I'm not surprised by, I'm sure he would love the idea of eventually settling down and having kids.

"I don't know, the whole idea of giving birth creeps me out and I'm afraid of how the hormones would affect me. I feel like most female send up having very different emotions after they give birth, like they become a whole different person and I don't want that to happen to me, and I think that the mood swings will make me unbearable. Plus I don't think I'd make a good mother, like at all" I admit as I look down to avoid seeing Harry's face since I feel like such a let down. I know we have only been dating for a while and that kids are something that won't even be really considered by either of us for years, but I mean we might as well talk about how we feel about them early on to avoid any trouble. In fact I would understand if Harry left me right now, the thought hurts my heart but I mean why would he want to be with someone who doesn't want something he does, especially if it's a big subject like kids. I'm not saying Harry and I will last forever but we aren't just dating for fun either.

"What?! Are you insane! You'd be a great mother!" He says squeezing my arm which causes me to look up at him. His eyebrows are furrowed together and his lips are in a frown.