Chapter 20

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Next chapter..... Please don't judge me, the story isn't finished yet...! Enjoy (:

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So when Harry woke up and read the letter, he screamed weakly. Where was Louis? In the hotel? In other country? Or.... dead? 

Harry shoke his head and tried to think. Louis wouldn't kill himself. He had two kids and he was happy. Right? 

Then he noticed a CD on the table and he took it with shaky hands. What was it? Harry swallowed and went to the livingroom. He put the CD on DVD-player and pressed the playbutton.

Harry burst into tears, when Louis showed up on the screen. He looked tired but he smiled still.

"Hi Harry. It's Louis!" Louis looked so sad. Harry wiped his tears away and watched.

"You propably think why I made this. Well, you changed me. I'm not the same Louis I was two years ago. When I arrived at your house year and half ago, I wanted to change. And you let me. I'm thankful for that. You made it possible. And I loved you even more, every day, every single day when I woke up. And maybe you didn't know, but I liked to sing-"

Harry knew that. Louis always sang in the shower and sometimes when they sat on the couch and watched some movie. Harry smiled. He loved Louis voice. It was high and bright. It was something, what Harry couldn't explain. It was just amazing.

"-but I want to sing now. Maybe this explains everything I couldn't say to you."

Harry watched how Louis put some music on and he started to sing. Harry burst into tears again. His voice was incredible.

(Listen the song now!)

"I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know   I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

and the reason is You  and the reason is you and the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you."    

Louis finished and wiped his tears away too. 

"I love you so much, Harry. Always have. Always will."

With that the screen went black and Harry broke into pieces. Why Louis did this? He really wanted to say goodbye? Because Harry didn't. He wanted to wake up next to Louis every morning. He wanted to hug him, kiss him, make love with him. Just love him.

So he dialed Louis' number and waited. Beep. Beep. Beep. This is Louis Tomlinson. I'm busy right now-

Shit! Harry ran his hand to his hair and sighed hardly. He was panicking; his breath was shaky and he was just imagining all the worst things. He tried to breath deep but he failed. His knees went weak and he fell down. His hugged his knees as he buried his head to them. He let out a choked sob.

Why Louis left? Harry didn't even say he wasn't angry. Because he knew that Louis was sorry. And he hated Brian, because he had hurted Louis. And now he was gone. Maybe forever.

He can't be dead. Louis wouldn't kill himself. He had everything well. Well, almost. He didn't have Harry. Yet. 

Harry raised his head and wiped his tears away. Enough of crying. Enough of waisting time. Enough for this sick game. He had to find Louis.

So Harry took his phone and dialed his mother's number.

"Hi mom. I need some favor. Can you come here?"

- - - - -

"Harry, honey!" Anne said and hugged her son tightly. 

"Hi mom", Harry said quietly and Anne pulled back. "So what's wrong?"

"Well, I think you should sit down. This is a long story", Harry said, and he told her mother everything. How Louis showed up to the twins' birthday ( after that Anne screamed and said: "Oh Harry! I forgot to come! I'm sorry!") and how Louis stayed for the night. And their conversation in the morning, and the kiss. And then how he remembered and how Louis left. And then he showed the letter.

Anne read it and after that he screamed.

"Harry! Louis can't b-be d-dead!" Anne said and Harry sighed. He looked his hands and nodded.

"I know. That's why I have to find him. Can you look the kids?" Harry asked and sniffled. Anne nodded lightly and hugged Harry again.

"You'll find him. He's not dead", Anne whispered and stroked her son's back calmly. Harry buried his face to his mother shoulder and oh, how familiar that smelt. Just like his mother. Just mom. 

Harry pulled back and smiled weakly, but enough to show his dimples. 

"And now you go and pack. Okay?" Anne said and stroked Harry's cheek gently. Harry nodded. He stood up, but before he walked away, he turned and said: "I love you mom."

Anne smiled and answered: "Love you too."

- - - - -

 Harry dialed Louis number when he sat down the taxi. 

"Where, sir?"

"To airport, please", Harry said and waited. Beep. Beep. Be-

"Harry, don't  call me."

Harry almost dropped the phone. Tears were burning his eyes. It was him.

"Louis. You're not dead", Harry whispered shakily. 

"What? No, I'm not. Harry wha-"

"I thought you were dead! Where the fuck are you?!" Harry snapped and the driver looked him confused. 

Harry smiled apologetically.

"What? No, I'm not dead. And I'm not gonna tell you."

"C'mon Louis. I need you! I want to live with you, I want to-"

"Harry-"

"I want to love you, I want to be with you and I-"

"HARRY-"

"And I want that you are that father to our kids what you were and-"

"Harry I don't want you!" 

Harry stopped talking and he took a deep breath. He burst into tears and the driver looked him. Harry couldn't do nothing but cry, and he heard a sigh.

"I'm sorry, but... I just, I don't want to be with you. I'm sorry." Beep. Beep. Beep.

Harry dropped the phone and sobbed: "W-we h-have to turn a-a-around."

The driver nodded and turned around. 

Louis didn't want him. Louis didn't want him.

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Here it is! :) Read! Vote! Comment! Love you all like always (: ♥

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