Forever Unfinished // Carl Grimes

Chapter 33

A huge thanks to Kayleigh_rose99 for that amazing comment on the last chapter <3 It feels incredible to get such positive feedback. It makes me much more comfortable in my own writing knowing that what I write has an emotional impact! (also I'm sorry for ruining your makeup, I'm sure it was amazing XD)

So thank you so much Kayleigh *virtual hugs*

For obvs reasons, this chapter is dedicated to Kayleigh_rose99 <3 May your eyebrows be forever on fleek XD 

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All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
'Cause if I could see your face once more
I could die a happy man I'm sure

"I'm s-sorry."

Carl felt her twisting and turning, shaking and sweating beside him as he woke. The darkness encased them like a cloak of black and Carl searched for the lampshade beside his side of the bed, seeing as Lauren had broken one of them. She thrashed, her legs kicking as her body was curled into a foetal position.

"Lauren," Carl shook her, placing a palm on her arm. He retracted it in sudden shock at the clammy feeling of her skin. She jerked upward, panting as she cracked her head around, visibly relaxing at the sight of Carl.

"I'm sorry I woke you," Her eyes fell to her lap, she was ashamed, guilty for the thoughts that tormented her unconscious mind. She was still shaking when Carl wrapped his arms around her.

"You don't have to apologise," He said softly, pulling her tight to his body so her head was pressed against his chest, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's the same dream I had the night I thought I lost you," Lauren sighed, enveloping herself in the comforting warmth, "I'm in a forest, running, and I see Chelsie, she disappears, then Bennett and Ethan. They all look the same as they did when they died, the same wounds that killed them. I run away, only to bump into Ayana, then Chelsie again, and as of last night, Diggy too. They are all chanting the same thing. 'You killed us."

Lauren paused, taking in a shaky breath as she hid from her own thoughts.

"Then I see you," She stopped, feeling as if the words got stuck in her throat. Her eyes brimming with tormented tears, "You're just standing there, so I run to you. Then I stop, my feet won't move, like I've been cemented to the ground, and you look at me. You look at me with such anger, such hatred, and you say.. 'You killed me' and then you disappear. I fall to the ground and they keep screaming at me, it's not long before I wake up but it feels like an eternity. I need to get out of here, Carl."

Carl held her close as she pulled herself together. She had finally let her guilt catch up with her and it was destroying her from the inside out. He needed to make her see the reason behind her actions, but not now, she needed to sleep. He couldn't help feeling bad for what she was experiencing, if he only fought harder he could have never been seperated from her, she would have never felt the pain of loosing him.

"I could never hate you," He whispered, "None of their deaths is your fault. You have to believe me."

"I just need to get out of here for awhile," Lauren sighed again, her tears staining into his t-shirt, "I think if I leave, it'll get better. All I see here is bad memories."

"I'll take you from here," Carl promised, "It'll go away soon."

"Thank you," Lauren smiled, kissing Carl softly on his lips. He could taste the salty tears on her warm lips and he knew he needed to make sure she was alright. He would spend every waking minute making her smile until the demons beneath her skin retreated to the furthest reach of her mind.