It's Just A PR Stunt. Right?

21 - A.

I'm really sorry guys, I'm sorry that this update took so long. Lately I've been finding myself a lot more depressed, and disliking towards my body. So I decided that I needed a break from the internet, I took time on working on my body and working in liking myself a lot more.
I'm pretty happy with who I am now and I just feel like crap for making you all wait so long for this.
I promise though that I will try my hardest to work on updates every weekend. Thank you so much for being so patient with me. I love you all so much, really.

-S.B.

If someone where to come up and politely ask to punch me in the face, I'd let them.

I'm am the most completely stupid person in this entire world and I honestly hate myself a little bit for it too. Recently I've realized that I'm an idiot and an asshole and I don't understand why luke would even think of possibly being in love with me.

He deserves so much better than I am.

I understand why he doesn't want to be around me, I understand why Michael is disappointed and I definitely understand why Calum wants to carve my guts out then shove them back in only to do it again. I know this because he told me last week. Honestly I don't blame him.

It's been a week and a half since luke got drunk, I can't seem to get the thought out of my head that he may have been drinking because of me and I'm such a dick, fuck.

All I have to do now is figure out a way to make everything okay again. Obviously it will be hard but maybe I can do it.

And I might just have to start off with Calum and Michael.

+

Honestly when I first asked Calum and Michael for some help, I expected Calum to punch me in the face but all he did was groan and yell "thank god, you got your head out of your ass." -Which...ouch but it was true, I need to learn how to open my eyes more often.

Luckly after a long and awkward conversation that included Calum threatening to chop off my head if I ever hurt his best friend again, he agreed to helping me figure out a way to woo Luke.

It started off with him writing a list of things that Luke loved, mostly romantic clichés but Im willing to try anything.

"Okay maybe this sounds super cliché and possibly a little stupid, but you'll have to get over it if you want it to work." Calum mumbled as he wrote down words on his paper that was titled, 'How to "Woo" Luke.'

He could remember thinking how weird the name was, to be wooing luke, but it made sense. Technically since he was using clichés it made sense to use the word wooing because that was what he was doing.

What even was his life.

Once Calum was finished, Michael took a second to read over, fix a few mistakes and add a few things before he handed the paper over to him, mumbling something under his breath.

How to "Woo" Luke -

1. Flowers (he like Lily's -M)

2. Coffee date

3. The "to me you are perfect" reference

4. More flowers

5. Milkshake date

6. Making him dinner

7. Going to the movies

9. DECLARING YOUR LOVE (not to soon though -M)

10. Picnics at sunset/rise

11. Nose kisses

12. ...More flowers, can never have to many flowers

He smiled at a few of things, he didn't have a hard time believing that Luke was into these kind of things. Its was cute. His smile widened when he knew exactly what he'd do.

Preparing for what I had planned took a few hours of one day, all I knew was that Luke was in the house and I prayed to God that he found to notes writen around the house, places that Luke liked to be or sit and next to his teacups.

I spend most of the night, last night writing simple things on yellow sticky notes. The first one was placed on the mirror in his room, somewhere I believed would be one of the first places Luke would go. There was a rose taped to it next to it on the wall, as a little peace offering.

The note had read- "I'm so very sorry for what I've done. I'm aware that you most likely hate me at the moment and if you do I understand why. But Luke Hemmings I swear to you that I will make it up to you. I hope that one day you'll forgive me for the biggest mistake I've ever made. But if you'd allow me, id love to get to love you. And if you don't except, it would be an honor to have my heart broken by you."

I had managed to take my time in writing it, making the letters loop prettily around eachother, because someone as beautiful as Luke deserved it.

For now, as I drove around the town we were currently in, all I could do was hope that he at least thought of giving me a chance. I wanted him to know that I was truly trying to be better for him.

I wanted to be better for myself.

I would say the next update will be around the 20th or the 21st. Again, sorry for making you wait so long.
See you in a week!

-S.B.