facade | ambraige

5. S A V I O R

D E A N
I did it. I actually did it.

That was the first time I had ever opened up to somebody. It was like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

"Dean, why were you so mean to me all those years?"

I didn't want to think about that right now. I did it simply out of anger at myself, not her. I'm self destructive.

"I didn't mean it Paige. I swear on my life, I didn't mean it. My actions come across hostile. But in actuality, that's my way of wanting to be friends with you. I don't know how to make friends."

I wish I would stop crying. It's a sign of weakness and one thing Dean Ambrose is not, is weak.

"Well, we can be friends Ambrose. I just wish you hadn't made my life a living hell."

I whimpered. I regretted every thing I'd ever done to her and she was making me feel worse.

"Dean I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry again."

"No it's fine. I deserve it."

Her chilled hands grabbed my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. My heart started beating faster when she sat down on my lap and held my face between her pale hands.

"Please stop crying Dean. What do I have to do to get you to stop crying?"

I just shook my head. She gripped my arms, wrapping them around her waist. I resisted the urge to rest my head on her shoulder.

"You are not a worthless human being. You are my savior if anything."

"No Paige. Paige, please don't-"

"You saved me. I'm going to love you with all that I have in me."

The urge to push her away from my destructive tendencies was stronger than ever. I tried to lift my hand up but Paige locked her grip on my hands.

"Dean, stop doing this. I am here to make sure you never hurt yourself again."

I sobbed as I attempted to fight against her hold.

She reached up, caressing my cheek. I had no idea what this beautiful porcelain doll was doing trying to save little old Dean Ambrose.

"Dean, Stop."

And just like that I collapsed in her grip. I was putty in her hands. I cried against her shoulder.

She lifted my head up and made me stare straight into her eyes. She wiped my fallen tears.

Through my blurred vision I saw her getting closer.

"Paige-"

She pressed her finger to my lips.

My heart swelled with love when I felt her soft lips brush over mine. I couldn't help but kiss back.

Her touch was the best medicine for my instability. She soothed every voice and every demon in my head.

Dean Ambrose was telling me I had to cherish Paige with all that I had and never let her go.

Jon Moxley was a different story.

He was telling me to not let this happen. Telling me I didn't deserve her and she was simply doing this out of sympathy.

I broke the kiss.

"Paige, you have to get away from me. I'm not good for you."

She shook her head no.

"Paige, we could never work. You need to get out. I'll destroy you and that's the last thing I want to do."

"Dean-"

"Paige! Listen to me, I'm fucked up in the head. I do things to myself that you would dream unimaginable. I can't help it but I have to deal with it."

I lightly grazed my thumb over her smooth cheek.

"I would never be able to forgive myself if I broke your heart. The longer you stay, the worse I feel. So just please leave."

My heart was screaming at me to take back what I just said.

In reality, the longer she stayed, the more calm I was. She was my therapy, my prescription medication, my SAVIOR.

But I couldn't put that pressure on her. She didn't deserve it.

I had to fight the itch to whimper as she stood up from my lap and I dropped my hands from her waist.

My voice was threatening to betray me. I wanted to shout from the roof tops and beg her to please don't leave me.

She was taking a long time to get to the door and she kept looking back. If she didn't go now, I would fall at her knees and beg her to never leave my arms again.

She was doing it on purpose.

I bounced my leg nervously, trying not to plead for her.

My heart plummeted to my stomach when she finally walked out, shutting the door behind her.

Just as I almost lost it, my phone went off.

'From: Paige
If you ever need me, I'm one call away. No matter how hard you push me away, I come right back to you. Be safe and please don't hurt yourself. I'll know.
- xx'

She must've put her number in my phone. How she figured out my passcode? Who knows.

I got another text.

'From: Brotha 👊🏼 (Roman)
Hope you're alright man. I saw what went down with you and Paige backstage. Text back soon. I'm with Seth if you need me.'

I sighed, throwing my phone on the bed.

What did I do to deserve such amazing people in my life?

I felt a headache coming on. Not again. Please not again.

My head started throbbing in no time and I sobbed against the bed sheets.

It was times like these when I needed that gorgeous pale angel named Paige here. But I was never going to let her comfort me again.

I was unworthy of her attention.