The Nonbinary Notebook

The One with the Awkward Transition

January 18, 2016

8:49 PM

Updates:

~I found a workout program that I really like. It combines cardio with body weight exercises without even feeling like cardio! And I don't need any equipment, either! It's just ten push-ups, ten burpees, twenty lunges, and ten V crunches. My legs always feel a lot more worn out that my arms and abs though, so I might change it to twenty push-ups and find a different ab exercise that doesn't strain my legs as much and really focuses on my core. (That was lengthy...sorry about that!)

~I got a haircut today! Just a trim, but it's shorter than it originally was and looks more masculine in my opinion. I'm going to see if I can convince my dad to get my hair professionally dyed for my birthday since it's expensive. I'm going dark lavender with black roots. It'll be so great!

~My mom knows I like girls now! She jokingly asked why all my friends were gay, then said she really didn't care who's gay and who's not. "Even you...are you?" I got really flustered and tried to avoid answering but she got the idea. She said she'll love me even if I'm a big ol' lesbo and that was that. So yeah! I guess that was the easy part. The whole enby thing is going to be harder...I'll cross that bridge later.

~Binding is getting reeeeeally hard. The camisole is getting stretched and I'm running out of ideas. But I've started wearing open button ups/flannels more often, which helps give the illusion of being flat. I just need to hang in there a few more years.

I'm getting closer to this year's goals every day. I'm really excited to start seeing results with this workout thing and I've been on a pretty good schedule with it. Also, I've been experimenting with a couple of labels but I think agender fits best so far. I feel like my femininity-masculinity scale is fluid, but I'm never a man or a woman. Just masc/fem. Usually I'm neither. I don't know if there's a word for it. Maybe graygender? Please comment if you know of a word for it or if you feel the same!

It's 9:30ish and I have midterms tomorrow so I should probably go. Seeya next time,

~El