The Nonbinary Notebook

The One with All the Checks

February 20, 2016

8:46 AM

I just woke up, so pardon my grammar. Yesterday was a big big big big big day for me!

I was about to leave to go to my dad's house but my mom stopped me before I went out the door. "Send me the link to that binder thing you want."

Hold on, let me fangirl a moment.

ALLDKFKSKDKAKDKDKSDKSKKALJDGKFKDHSGSKFLSJFJSLDJSKFK!!!1!11!1!!!!!!1!!1!!!!

Ok. I'm done.

I'm getting not one, but TWO binders: one white, and one grey because white won't show under my clothes and grey will look like an undershirt. I expected to pay for them but my mom said something super logical that I never thought of before.

"I would buy you bras if you needed them, so why wouldn't I [buy you a binder]?"

I still felt guilty though, so I paid for one of them.

But they are ordered as of yesterday!!!!!!!!!

One white and one grey half length gc2b binders, on the way.

ALSKDKSKDLSDKKADKFKDKAKFKSKFKSKFKDKFKCKKD

So here's what I got:

1. Get healthy! (sorta check...I need to get back on the wagon with that)
2. Get a haircut! (sorta check...I'm thinking of shorter styles to try out!)
3. Get some clothes! (sorta check...got some, need more)
4. Get a binder! (CHECK CHECK CHECK)
5. Get support! (super check!)
6. Get top surgery! (ugh I wish)
7. Get a name! (Check!)

I didn't think all of this would happen so fast. I thought I would be updating this faaaaaaaar into the future and into my 20s...which I still will be, but you know. Not much.

But I'm just amazed at how far I've come in my transition and how far I've got to go. I'm not sure if I want T yet, but it's a possibility. So I'll add this:

8. Get to a gender therapist!

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-Eli