Austin and Ally FF (Fixing the Melodies)

Ally 33: bitter sweet

When I woke up today I felt good, things finally started to seem okay again. Though today things were a little scary at the same time.

Today is my first therapy session. Though I'm a little excited, but I'm still freaking out inside. Like one part of me says it's going to be okay, then the other part says RUN.

I have to be strong, to really try. This is what's best for me. Also I don't have to go through it alone. Austin's taking me.

Oh Austin. He told me he loves me and I was so happy inside. I was jumping up and down with pure joy. I love him, I really do. But I'm not ready to be his girlfriend yet. I'm actually scared.

It's kind of scary. To go back to what we used to have. Not that I don't want that, I do. I mean I really do. But I'm scared that I'm going to lose him some how again. Or we'll have a fight that so big that we'll never talk again. We've already had such big fights. What will one more do, some thing horrible?

No. I shouldn't think that. I should think that one day we'll be together. We'll be happy together.

I took a warm shower and changed into a tee shirt and sweats before I went downstairs. Mom left me a note.

~had to run out, ill pick you up from therapy. The fridges stocked up with food, cabinets have medicine just in case, love you. See you later.

Mom~

Great so I'm alone until Austin gets here. It's only nine and Austin won't be here until twelve. So I'm alone.

No matter what, ever since my mom remarried, it just she'll always end up leaving. She'll be around, but then she'll go. Leave me here behind.

Well mother of the year does not go to her. There's knifes that had just been washed that are drying on the racks. Also there's medicine that's perfectly in my reach. Both things which mom was suppose to make sure to keep away from me.

Medicine in case I try to use the same suicide method, and keep sharp objects away from me. Yeah great job mom. She's not all that bad. Really it's just I started to become less of a priority to her. I know that sounds horrible and really sad, but it's the truth.

It's sad how our relationship faded away over time. Though she still try's her best and giving me things that she try's to replace love with.

"Oh sorry honey I can't make it to your fourteenth birthday. But I sent you a three hundred dollar gift card!"

But I've slowly come to except it. I always have hows that she'll change. But I think there are times when you just give up. Now is one if those times.

I took a nap for about an hour then got dressed I a simple outfit for today.

I decided to make lunch, not for me though. For Austin, he's skipping his lunch break to take me to therapy. That's so sweet of him, I want to do some thing for him.

I made a him a turkey and ham sandwich, with tomato and lettuce. It was a really big sandwich. Also some fries on the side, chips and fresh lemonade. It was a pretty good filling meal. He's a big guy so he has to eat lots right?

The door bell rang and my heart jumped. I skipped my way to the door and swung it open. There stood the tall six foot blonde looking down at me with a big smile.

I don't know why but excitement and happiness ran though me and I leaped into Austin's arms. He was a little surprised but he quickly wrapped his arms around me. "So am I really that irresistible!" He laughs out loud.